Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Missing Him

Eric is gone this week. Off to Toronto with work. This is the first time that he's been away since we were married. I don't mind so much when he goes out of town for a week or two, it's when it stretches out to a month or more that I get upset. His company has a way of doing that to us. The first time he ever went out of town he left at the end of January for 2 short weeks. Well, he didn't start working in town again until the following July. Mind you, he always is able to come home on the weekends so at least we're not separated for months at a time. So you can see why I have trouble trusting when his company says he'll only be gone for a week or two. I've heard that before.

So it's been quiet around the house this week. I miss him terribly. I'm so used to having him around that it feels odd to be alone. That realization strikes me because I have spent a good deal of my adult years "between relationships" and alone. I never minded spending time on my own. I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. When I met Eric I thought it might be hard for me to transition from being my own person to being part of a couple. It wasn't hard at all. It felt natural to spend so much time with him.

I miss him with all my heart but I can recognize that being alone isn't so bad. I get to watch whatever I want on TV. Dinner is a simple affair when I'm alone. I can go to bed early and not get woken up at 2am when he decides it's bed time. The whole bed to myself! There's no bathroom sharing in the mornings. Those are the perks and I really do think that it does us all good to spend time on our own.

The downsides? There's no warm body in my bed to snuggle up to when I feel chilly. I miss him waking me up in the mornings. There's no one to open up the garage door for me. Dinner is eaten in front of the TV as opposed to at the table with conversation on the side. If I want to talk to someone I have to pick up the phone. I can't hear him laughing at something funny that he saw on TV or in an email. No kiss goodbye in the mornings. I could go on and on....

He'll be home in 2 days. I hope they're short days. I can hardly wait for Friday.