Monday, September 13, 2004

A Few Observations

As of yesterday Eric and I have been married 3 months. Not a lot of time by most people's standards but still awesome to me. I didn't think that I'd ever get married and here I am 3 month's in. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe. I found someone that not only puts up with my shit but loves me. Really loves me. Miracles do happen!

Our Big Day: June 12, 2004

We lived together for a while before we tied the knot but we haven't even been together for 2 years. It didn't take us long to know that it was right and good and that this was IT. Since June 12 a lot of people have asked me: How's Married Life? I usually reply that it's all good and not much has changed since we were shacking up before hand. But I guess that's not really true. I think that there have been a lot of minute changes that I just never noticed happening and honestly I have a hard time putting my finger on exactly what the changes are. It just feels different somehow. Our relationship continues to grow and change everyday.

Guess what other question I've been getting a lot? Probably no mystery here.

"So when are you having kids?"
"Are you pregnant yet?"

What makes it alright to ask me that? Is it okay for mere acquaintenances to be so nosy? They may as well be asking me if we're having sex on a regular basis. Or "Hey how's your fertility?" Okay. I'm exaggerating a little bit. Most of the time it really doesn't bother me but it really does make me wonder what the limits are. I just think that it's interesting that it's okay to blatently ask me if I'm pregnant yet. Geez. What if I was trying and was having trouble conceiving? What if I had a miscarriage? Questions like these would be hurtful.

The other interesting thing is that it's not close friends or family that pry like that. I wouldn't mind if my best friend asked me. Coworkers and mere acquaintences are the worst culprits.

People really need to give it some more thought before blurting out questions like that. Don't they think that I'm fully aware that I'm not getting any younger? Biological clocks and all that are not something that strangers need to point out.

Maybe I'll think up some saucy retort for the next time someone asks me if I'm knocked up yet.

"Oh. My. God. I'm not! I knew that I had forgotten something. Do you think that the earth will keep spinning? Maybe you could mention this to my husband too. I mean, after all, we HAVE been married 3 whole months now. What have we been doing with our time? Thank you. Thank you so much for reminding me to do my duty. What would I ever do without your advice?"

Sound jaded?

The Buzz:

At 2:37 a.m., Blogger Alianora declared...

Definitely agree with you on that one. People need to mind their own damn business. That's incredibly rude, thoughtless and pushy of people to comment to you like that! Isn't it your business? Who cares what other people think about whether you are expecting or not? Rude.

At 8:23 a.m., Blogger shadowbox declared...

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the insensitive comments and nosy questions from family and friends will likely continue for years. Should a baby come along, some will ask you "so when's the next one?" I was asked this just hours after becoming a new father. It gets worse. Some, even after knowing about a history of miscarriages, still manage to find the nerve to ask about whether more progeny might come along.

My conclusion: some people are idiots. Treat them accordingly.

As for relationships, they change in ways that can surprise you. Often, this is a good thing.

At 12:16 p.m., Blogger Iona declared...

Well, I also have to agree. People shouldn't ask those kinds of questions. Right after I got married, (which is 3 years ago upcoming december) friends and family also started asking me if I was pregnant already.
Close friends even giggled when asking me. And, you know, poking me in my ribs with their elbow.
'Noooo, not yet.' I had to reply.
The reaction I got in return was mostly;
'Well, at least you're having fun practicing, right????'
Well, all I can say is; "Amen to that! And the rest is none of your business!"

At 12:18 p.m., Blogger Iona declared...

Oh, I forgot; Congratulations on your three-months anniversary!

At 9:39 a.m., Blogger Dale declared...

Hi M. I had something to say on the topic of having children. Dale's Advice for the Lovelorn.

Check it out.

Oh, and congrats on your 3 month anniversary! Mom and Dad celebrated 55 years of marriage last spring. Dad says the first 40 years were the hardest. LOL!


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