Friday, September 10, 2004

Space Invaders

Having spread my wings (so to speak) lately with blogger I've noticed a trend. Some blogs are being invaded! It seems that most of us write a blog not just to share with others but because we can say a lot here that we can't (or don't want to) say anywhere else. What happens when this (which may be our only personal space) is invaded?

Just recently I've suspected that someone I don't want to read my blog has now read it. I know that if they did find it, it was purely by accident but I'm still so bothered by it. This is mine. I'm much more comfortable with fellow bloggers reading my writing than people that I actually know. There are a precious few (a few family and maybe 1 or 2 friends) that I've shared my blog with. Even then it made me slightly uncomfortable and these are people that I trust implicitly.

To have a family member or a boss or a coworker or a child discover your personal blog is enough to make you stop blogging. I'm not stopping but the thought crossed my mind.

If you had a feeling that a family member or friend or a roomate was keeping a blog would you go looking for it? And if you found it, would you read it even though you hadn't been invited to? I guess that most of us would be greatly tempted but who knows what we'd actually end up doing. My husband asked me recently why I post on the internet if I am concerned about people that I know reading it. Good point. But still, there's something wonderful about being totally open and honest and you and being completely accepted by those who read. Won't those we know in person be more liable to censure us or make fun of us or hold it against us?

I think that I've stopped making sense and this blog has ended up far from where I intended it to go. Time to stop babbling.

The Buzz:

At 8:21 p.m., Blogger Kristin declared...

You totally make sense!

I understand exactly what you mean. I am happy to let strangers from everywhere on the planet read and comment in my blog, but the thought of my parents or colleagues ever seeing it is horrifying!

You can be brutally nakedly honest with random strangers. They aren't close enough to you to pass judgment.

Hopefully your worry here turns out to be just another random IP and not someone too close to you!


PS Discovered your blog via a referring URL left on mine.

At 3:43 a.m., Blogger Alianora declared...

I agree completely. I feel as though I can freely be myself when blogging. A guy at my work found my very personal anonymous blog, but it was under my account on a computer we shared. He's an administrator on that computer and when nosing around through my history. Needless to say, I was very angry. All of my insecurities and worries, things that my co workers need not know about were on there. Specifically the co worker I like the least out of everyone in the company. It made me feel emotionally naked and violated in a sense. As if my freedom to express myself had been seriously invaded.

At 1:21 a.m., Blogger curiouscouple declared...


My opinion is quite simple: I am what I am. If my family, friends, co workers, whoever - should happen to find my blog and read it, then, so what? We do our best to keep our real life and internet life seperate, especially given that we live in such a small town, but, really, I have no desire to go through life hiding who we are and what we are. In some ways, it would almost be a relief, so we could be free to be ourselves.

Anyways. Ifyou spend all your time worrying about bad things that *might* happen, you miss all the good stuff that *does* happen.

Que sera, sera.

At 2:47 p.m., Blogger shadowbox declared...

Suffice to say that I can relate to what you've said in this post. Some may disagree, but I think that it's not only liberating to be able to post near-anonymously, it's also honest. It removes the sting of identity so that the truth can come out in our words without repercussions and without judgement. It's one of the reasons why most newspaper editorials are still penned without a byline.

Sometimes when I'm hammering away on my blog, I think to myself "I can't believe that I'm gonna post this." But then I remind myself that bloging is a self-indulgent exercise. It's for you and for whatever the reasons that compel you to string together some words and sentences. That others are able to read these posts is really beside the point.

Keep posting, keep being true to yourself and to hell with what others think.

P.S. And you're making perfect sense.

At 10:51 p.m., Blogger tam declared...

That totally makes sense. My family and a handful of friends know about my blog and I've found that it does cause me to censor what I post. However, I have let loose a couple of times and my relationship with my family has actually benefited from it. They understand me just a bit better. Interesting. I think we sometimes place unnecessary boundaries on ourselves and our relationships. Let it fly! OK...maybe not EVERYTHING, but...;)

At 12:38 a.m., Blogger Kat declared...

I faced this question earlier this weekend whether to post or not to post my thoughts and emotions. Then hit the Publish button because my blog IS for ME.

I'm pretty open about who I am, but I end up saying things and expose myself much more in writing than I do in real life. If they end up on my blog so be it. I'm not ashamed of who I am or how I feel. If someone doesn't like it, oh well. Don't read it.

When I consider that so-n-so might read my blog, it doesn't change my post it makes me dig deeper in my thoughts and opinion and try harder to write well.

However, I don't go around announcing my blog address and I do post nearly anonomously in order to avoid any possible "conflicts" with my employment. Some of my opinions, word choices, and subject matter would probably not be looked well upon.

My vote? DON'T STOP, GIRL!!!

At 10:12 a.m., Blogger Dale declared...

Hi B. Me again. I respect your need for and right to privacy, but personally, I am quite open about who I am in my blog. I've posted pics of myself, my kids, my work. I use my real name. I haven't posted my address but it's clear I live in Toronto. Even what part of Toronto. I offer my primary e-mail address. Secrets and subterfuge are just too much work for me.

Having said that, I am very selective about whom I share my blog with. Two close friends and one sister are the only people who know me personally, and have access to my thoughts as I express them here.

I think we bloggers post for reasons as varied and as numerous as we are.
"A chaqu'un son gout," say the French. To each his own. Write on, Sister!

At 1:14 p.m., Blogger shadowbox declared...

Yeah...seeing deer up-close can be a fine experience. Much like seeing bears, but minus that pesky fear-for-your-life instinct.

At 8:39 a.m., Blogger pinksugar declared...

I actually like people to read my blog - its flattering to know that people are interested in my life. But I remember when I had a really really big fight with a very old friend, that I was terrified she'd read my blog - I never mentioned her or said anything nasty but the thought of her knowing what I was doing! it just felt wrong! but most of the time I'm comfortable with anyone reading it - i factor that into how/what I write. I still understand how you feel though

At 9:43 p.m., Blogger Beth declared...

Before my current blog, I had another one. I took no prisoners, I put everything out in the open. I got a lot of angry email. I really don't want to censor myself, but I do to some extent. Nowadays, most of the people I blog about don't know that I keep one.

I blog because it's cheaper than therapy. I think that's why alot of people do :)


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