Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Day 4

Today is Eric's fourth day on the patch and fourth day without a cigarette. He is doing so well and making me so proud.

Yesterday he went through a whole bag of mini carrots in one sitting. Impressive. I shall have to make an unscheduled stop at the grocery store to have more carrots on hand.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Christmas Cards.

It's Christmas card time again. I have a fresh box, unopened in front of me. It's a silly tradition though isn't it? This is about how it goes with me in 22 steps....

1. Go out and buy cards. Find the prettiest ones I can for the best price.
2. Find Christmas card list from last year -- make additions or subtractions as neccessary.
3. Leave box on bookshelf for a while to "remind" me to write them.
4. Mention to Eric to make up a french translation label for any french speaking only friends.
5. Move box from shelf to table to "remind" me again.
6. Find nice pen to write lovely, personal notes inside cards.
7. Buy nice Christmas stickers to decorate envelope.
8. Remind Eric to translate text onto labels for french speaking friends.
9. Receive first Christmas card in mail and go into panic mode about still unopened box.
10. Place nice pen and stickers with unopened box to motivate me to write out cards.
11. Practice drawing holly berries with nice pen.
12. Try to ignore pretty cards in box as I watch The Amazing Race.
13. Receive second card in mail and hurriedly open box of cards, unfold list of addresses and
uncap pen. Leave on table for tomorrow night.
14. Forget that idea. The Apprentice is on.
15. Remind Eric to print out french translation labels.
16. Decide to write out a couple cards to "get into the swing" of it. Hate how contrived my "thoughtful, handwritten messages" sound -- give up.
17. Give Eric the cards that he has to write out in french. Watch him sweat and stress about what to write. Laugh at him. (Seriously, he's very bad at this.)
18. End up having to buckle down and write out scads of cards on a Friday night when I'd rather
do something else. Bitch about what a silly and wasteful tradition it really is.
19. Laugh at Eric some more as he struggles through the 4 or 5 cards that he has to write.
20. Settle for brief standard message to go in card so that I can get them out in time for Christmas.
21. Write note to self to buy stamps.
22. Place written and addressed cards on shelf to remind me to send them.....

As I said. Silly. I do like getting Christmas cards though. So I really shouldn't knock the tradition.

Perhaps this year I'll settle for a Christmas email. Now that's an idea!

For you though? A lovely Christmas blog. And believe me. There will be more heart in that (when I get around to it) than in most of my Christmas cards.


Update Please!

Has anyone else notice that Blogger has not updated in eons?

Saturday, November 27, 2004

On The Patch

Yahoo! Eric came home last night with presents. Presents!

First he gave me a colourful bouquet of wildflowers (which I love -- no roses or carnations for this girl!) and then he handed me a box. A small box. And before you all start thinking jewellery I will tell you that it was something much better.

Nicotine Patches! He told me that he wants to have quit smoking in time for my birthday. (Less than a month before the dreaded 32 takes hold of me.)

I am so excited. And pleased. I've been after him for a long time to quit. I can understand the lure of smoking. If it wasn't terribly bad for me I would smoke too. But I know better. So aside from the occasional cigarette when I'm having a drink I do not smoke.

I tried all sorts of approaches to encourage him to quit. Do it for yourself. Do it so that you don't cough and hack and sound like shit. Didn't work. Okay. So he's not allowed to smoke in the house or our new car. Oh well. He'll huddle on the porch or in the garage to have a butt.

Mh. Well what if we have kids? He'll quit then he tells me. Oh good idea. Just what we need. Pregnant crazy woman living with nicotine withdrawal boy. What a fun house that would be.

So I tried a new tactic. Fine. If you won't do it for yourself or for any possible future kids, then do it for me. I don't want to lose you to lung cancer. I can't live without you. Please don't leave me alone.

When I wrote a blog about cancer last week Thomas offered a very profound comment:

"I only wish people who smoke understood
that killing themselves only spreads the pain
of their death to their loved ones."


Well that really struck a cord with me and I read it aloud to Eric. I think that he finally heard me. So today he starts the Patch. I could cry. It's the best gift he could have given me.

Good luck my love. I have complete faith in you and know you can do it. I am so proud of you.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Validation Junkies.

Why is validation so hard to come by these days?

What is so difficult about saying:

Job well done.

You look great.

Thank you for all your hard work.

What you do does not go unnoticed.

You are appreciated.

etc.

Most of us are used to going without it and when we do get it, it's delicious and unexpected and appreciated. My boss wouldn't say "good job" if a gun was held to his head. It's just not in his nature. But validation is not only missing in our jobs but from loved ones. Maybe that's why there are so many arguments in relationships. Most of us just want to be told that we are being heard and that our feelings are valid and we are valuable.

Then there is the other end of the spectrum. There are those of us though that I like to refer to as validation junkies. I have a friend who is one of the most wonderful people one could ever meet. She's intelligent, pretty, and confident. Except for in her job. She actually calls me just to tell me that her boss told her she was doing a good job. I make all the appropriate noises but honestly the frequency that this can happen blows me away. Would she ever survive in my office where there's not a "well done" to be had around for miles?

And then there's the girl that works down the hall from me. She's got a different boss than me and boy it's a damn good thing. She is so spoiled and coddled that she has adopted that whiny voice that especially petulant females have a tendancy to talk with. It drives me crazy. She gets praise and validation and any little thing her heart desires. And the worse part? When she is stumped by a computer problem she'll toddle her spoiled ass right down to my office where either I or one of my workmates will give her a hand if we can. Then she comes out smelling like roses.

I wonder how she would fare in my office. It sure would be fun to watch her whining to my boss. And wouldn't it be just as fun to watch her bewildered look as she had to join the ranks of us lowly peons.

Just picturing that makes my day seem a little brighter. Bitch that I am.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

First Snowfall = Loss of Driving Skills.

First snowfall of the year today. (Have I told you how much I hate winter?)

Anyway, the rain from this afternoon turned to snow just in time for the commute home. And today is when I became an irate driver. How can people forget from year to year how to drive in snow? There was absolutely no need for the constant braking. I was on a highway where I can usually drive between 80 and 100 kph and there I was stuck at between 40 and 60 kph. Grrrr.

So by the time I finally saw the lights of my small community ahead I found myself yelling at the drivers in front of me. I seriously considered honking and giving them the finger as I blew by them when the road finally widened. (And I'm usually a very considerate driver)

Bloody hell. It's gonna be a long winter.

Here Comes the Sun...

From Kat's Blog.....



You Are From the Sun



Of all your friends, you're the shining star.
You're dramatic - loving attention and the spotlight.
You're a totally entertainer and the life of the party.
Watch out! The Sun can be stubborn, demanding, and flirty.
Overall, you're a great leader and great friend. The very best!


What Planet Are You From?

Who knew? I sure didn't.

Desperate Housewife.

Although I hold a full time job I've been feeling very much like a housewife. A desperate one at that.

Why has the running of the house come to be my responsibility only? Why am I the only person who notices that the litter needs to be emptied or that the bathroom counter needs to be cleaned or that laundry needs to be done or that the carpet is overdue to be vaccumed?

It's a little frustrating. It's a lot annoying.

It is because I don't have a dangling appendage between my legs that this has become only my domain? Does having a penis inhibit these particular messages from travelling to the male brain?

Before we bought a house and got married Eric used to clean. Sometimes he would notice before I would that something needed to be tidied or scrubbed or what have you. Not any more. I must have missed the part in our vows where I promised to be his domestic servant for evermore.

Oh wait. I've been unfair. In the summer he's the only one that mows the lawn because I am allergic to grass. Oh. And also he usually takes out the garbage once I have it all collected for him. Isn't that nice of him?

Wouldn't it be grand if once Eric removed his last pair of clean shorts from his drawer, it would dawn on him to throw some laundry in? Or if he could clean up the dinner dishes without having to be asked?

Okay. I know I'm being a total bitch but I needed to get that rant out of my system.

I feel (slightly) better now.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Dry.

I think that the well has run dry.

I cannot think of a single thing to blog about. As much as I want to write at this very moment. There are no words to write.

Maybe later the words will present themselves. Line up in a a row waiting patiently to be written.

I hope so.


Monday, November 22, 2004

The Beast.

Cancer. Monster. Means the same thing to me.

Over the past year or so Cancer has stalked more than one loved one of mine. And I'm sick of it. How safe am I? How safe are any of us? It is discriminating and non-discriminating at the same time.

This time last year my family was facing the thought of a cancer scare. Would Cancer stamp it's name on my own beloved Mother? Would we lose her before her time?

She escaped, and by extension, so did we. I give thanks every day that my Mom was spared.

Then, more recently, my most favourite aunt was faced with the possibility of Cancer. Damn that disease. Again, luckily, she escaped and by extension so did we.

My Grandmother lost a breast to Cancer. My friend lost her husband to Cancer. One of the first boys I ever kissed died from Cancer. A childhood friend of mine lost her little sister to Cancer. The list goes on and on.

Now Cancer rears its ugly head again. My friend and colleage has battled Cancer twice. Her last round was 6 or 7 years ago. She won that battle but they still only give her 50% survival rate. And now? Today? Her husband was given the verdict. Cancer. Unbelieveable. How can this beast strike one small family THREE times?

Three bloody times.

My heart aches for them. They are lucky in that they've caught it early and it would seem very treatable at this point. But really, how comforting can those words be when paired with the word Cancer?

Monster. Stealer of loved ones. Hated and dreaded disease. How can any of us feel safe?

We can't. Plain and simple. All we can do is enjoy each day and live it like it's our last.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Blogs I Enjoy and Lazy Saturday.

I just updated my 'blogroll' list. There sure are some sexy and well written blogs out there. Keeps life interesting reading about the lifestyles and imaginations of others.

One thing that I have discovered lately is that men sure can write sexy when they put their minds to it. Well done boys.



It's 130pm and I have even gotten out of my pajamas. Well that's not exactly true. I haven't gotten out of the sweat pants and tshirt that I put on when I got out of bed. Being a "sleep in the buff kinda girl" there's not much call for pajamas. :)

Eric went out with the neighbourhood boys last night for some geek fun. They get together once a month or so and meet at the local gaming place. They play Battlefield for a couple of hours and then head to the local watering hole to talk geek over pitchers of beer. Last night was Eric's maiden voyage into the neighbourhood geekdom but I think that he fit in well and came home not just a little drunk. Good for him. I am so pleased that he can do that every once in a while. Our neighbours are really nice and Eric doesn't have too many friends in the area as, like me, he is a transplant from another part of the country. Have you noticed that it's much more difficult to make friends when you're older?

Anyway, I went out to get a serious start to my Christmas shopping. I like to get it done early so that I can just sit back and enjoy the Christmas season and laugh at all the people who are running around like crazy. When I got home I curled up with my laptop and a bottle of wine. By the time Eric rolled in drunk I was long since gone in a wine induced sleep. I didn't even hear him and usually he makes a great deal of noise.

It was a good relaxing night and it's turning out to be a relaxing Saturday. I have a million things to do around the house but it'll all wait till tomorrow.

Time to get my lazy ass off the couch. It's time for lunch.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Ixnay on the ommentcsay!

Aaaaaahhhh! I can't comment on anyone's blog.

And I reeeeealllllyy want to!

It's driving me mad.

Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This....

My stressful day yesterday was topped off by a crappy end last night.

Today has GOT to be better.

Right?

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Emotional Ringer.

I was just commiserating with a fellow blogger about being through the emotional ringer today.

And boy what a ringer it was.

Fortunately no one got canned today at my work but unfortunately 2 of my coworkers that I work very closely with, have both threatened to resign. That spells nothing but disaster for me so I am a busy bee trying to keep everything together.

I am a little frustrated. This whole thing is a series of bad coincidences and strong personalities and misunderstandings. But when it all came to a head today one of my coworkers (who I have tried my best to be there for) tried to bring me into the middle of it. I thought that was very unfair of her. I realize that we are capable of stupid things when we're put on the spot and under pressure but I am upset with her for that especially given what we've gone through over the past couple of days.

Anyway, I shall do my best to keep the peace and bring understanding to a bad situation.

Thank god tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow night I can crawl into a bottle of wine and not come out all night evening. Yay!

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Shit Has Hit the Fan.

Well it's been one of those days.

I'm indirectly involved in a situation at work that could either blow up or just go away. The next couple of days shall tell the story. It may involvle people losing jobs and locks getting changed or there could be a perfectly logical explanation to what's going on.

Then, at home, we've discovered that we may be having sewer problems. Hence the real reason that I titled this blog as I did.

Lovely.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Getting a Reputation.

Warning: Content below may be unsuitable for parents to read.


This afternoon Eric and I were outside untangling and putting up Christmas lights. Our neighbours pulled up. They're pretty nice but we don't know them too well. They're in their mid fifties I would guess.

So anyway. The fellow comes over and has a little laugh at us as we're both tangled up in lights. Then as he's leaving he turns as says:

"Oh. I meant to tell you.... You guys watch TV in your basement a lot right?"

We nodded affirmatively.

"Well you may want to flip your blinds so that the slats are turned the other way. When it's dark and you have your lights on I can see right into your basement. If anyone was passing by they'd probably be able to see too."

You see he often ducks out to his backyard to have a smoke. And not only that but we live on a corner lot with no fence. Often people cut through our backyard to connect with the paths that are in the field behind our house.

It's all good right?

Not so. I was completely mortified. Last night......feeling slightly amorous, Eric and I "got it on" in the basement. There was a little chair action. There was a little couch action. There was a little floor action.

Did he see us? Is that why he's telling us about our blinds. Oh. My. God.

I mumbled something about getting right to that. And thanks so much for telling us.

Eric, up on the ladder, is trying not to laugh. I was trying to act calm and collected but I could feel myself blushing. I just wanted to fly into the house.

Now this guy could have seen nothing at all but it seems slightly coincidental that today of all days he would tell us about how he could see in.

I could have died.

This embarrassing moment is right up there with the time that our other neighbour helped us move something into our house. Through the front door, through the living room, past the bathroom and into the spare room. We chatted and joked around in the hallway and he looked around a bit as it was his first time inside our place.

Imagine my mortification when I remembered that we had left a brightly coloured toy (a toy of a sexual nature) on our bathroom counter. Eric assures me that he likely didn't notice it but I ask you. Could you miss a hot pink funny looking contraption with a cord and a remote attached to it? I doubt it.

We're going to end up with quite the reputation on this street.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Big Oops.

Now you will all know what a bonehead I can be.

Tonight I lit a few candles around the house. Nothing wrong with that. Unless you forget to extinguish the ones on the bathroom counter. And then go out.

I wasn't expecting to go out. It was a quick trip up the street to Crappy Tire. Last minute thing.

When we got home Eric sniffed and said, "Does it smell like something is burning?"

Oops.

Big oops.

Left the 4 wick candle lit in the bathroom. Usually this would not have been a huge deal -- we weren't gone long. If it had been a new candle it would have been fine. But unfortunately the candle had already been burnt pretty low even before I had lit it.

The glass jar holding the candle had burst. The wicks were all out (thankfully) and there was dried wax on the counter. When the glass burst, the counter scorched and now there is a good sized burn mark on a very obvious spot on the counter.

You don't need to tell me that my house could have burnt down. I know it. I am a tool.

See? I told you I've been distracted and careless lately.

Spice Girl.

Well I guess I would have wanted to be something more exciting than Basil but that's what I got.

Do you think that Basil Spice would fit in with Posh and the girls?

Probably not.





What herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla




Thanks for the link Dale.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Mooning Over Mr. Darcy.

Out shopping tonight and I came upon Pride & Prejudice (BBC version) on DVD for only $18. I snapped it up because I've been wanting it for close to 10 years now but never willing to pay the $50 they're usually asking for it.



It's on right now in the background as I type this. I have seen this movie so many times. Oh Mr. Darcy. How I have mooned over you since my Humanities teacher made our class read the book. I devoured that book and since then read it at least 3 other times. And I have an old VHS tape with the A&E broadcast of the movie on it. Commercials badly edited out but watched many times and loved dearly all the same.

What is the magic that Mr. Darcy holds? And by extension Colin Firth. No one else could have played Mr. Darcy nearly so well as our Colin. My heart skips a beat when he comes out of the pond, dripping wet, shirt plastered to his chest. Or when he asks Elizabeth if her feelings for him have changed. I hold my breath every time.

I think that Mr. Darcy was the 19th century's version of the dark and brooding, mysterious bad boy. The boy that is so cool and aloof but underneath smouldering with passion and oh so loveable. Oh be still my beating heart. I still have it bad for Mr. Darcy.


Wednesday, November 10, 2004

I Said NO!

Eric keeps teasing me that he's going to grow a beard. Right now he sports a cute goatee which I just adore on him. He finds it just hysterically funny that I am adamant that he doesn't change his facial hair.

First he told me he's going to shave off the chin part of his goatee. Well that doesn't make me happy at all. I'm not into mustaches. They suit those of a certain age but on my Eric (at his tender age of 30) it would just give me the creeps in a '70s porn star kinda way.

Now today, after I enquired as to when he was planning on shaving his stubbly cheeks, he grinned and said. "I'm thinking of growing a beard."

Not what I wanted to hear. There's nothing wrong with beards. I think that they really suit certain people. (You know who you are.) But in my book, if you decide against clean-shaven then just go with the goatee. Please. I find his goatee sexy and cute and .... him. I see pictures of him without it and it's just not him.

So ladies. Tell me. What do YOU prefer?

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

It's Been a While....

It's been a while since I truly blogged. I mean really wrote about what I'm thinking about or what's been going on. I hope to rectify that shortly.

So what's been going on in my life?

  • My acrylic nails, which I'm growing out, have started to pop off and it makes my fingers sore.
  • My house is in desperate need of a good cleaning.
  • I went to a dinner party on Saturday night and had a fabulous time. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful friends.
  • I went 'house shopping' for those crazy parents of mine. (Ha. Betcha didn't know they were my parents.)
  • I have become addicted to Gmail.
  • This freakin' cat is driving me mad.
  • I have eaten way too much leftover Halloween chocolate (and we had 170+ kids).
  • Am very jealous of K who is having a fabulous time in Belize right now.
  • I am still getting over the fantastic viewing of The Northern Lights a couple of nights ago. It was unlike any previous viewing I had. Stunning. Apparently they could even be seen from Kitchener, Ontario. (Here's a link with many different pics on it, from the US and Canada mostly.)
  • I have been distracted and careless lately. Don't ask me why.
  • Have figured out that there's only about 6 weeks till Christmas!!! (Planning to put up the outdoor Christmas lights this weekend if it's nice enough. And no I won't light them yet.)
  • I have been trying to avoid the fact that my 32nd birthday is looming large.
  • I am very thankful that this is the first year in the last 6 that I am not moving. Other people aren't so lucky.
  • I have had trouble getting to sleep these days.
  • I bought Dido's 'Life for Rent' and have found that I love it as much as 'No Angel'.
  • Decided that Kat's blog has been very interesting lately. (Thanks for keeping it soooo interesting my friend.)
  • Has everyone heard that we found Eric's pants? That was a highlight.
  • Found out this week that my 37 year old friend may have serious heart problems.
  • Have been wondering what's so great about single malt scotch. Maybe I should try it sometime. Then again, maybe I'll stick with my beloved red wine.
  • I have found a couple new interesting blogs. One, I've already added to my Blogs I Enjoy list. Another, I will add shortly.
  • Pondering the question: If I could go back in time (via a time machine) where in the hell would I choose to go?
So that's about it for me. My laundry continues to pile up and the dishes always need to be done. Life is rolling by at an incredible pace these days. Just trying to keep up with it all.



Sunday, November 07, 2004

The Northern Lights!

The View from Our Backyard Tonight......







PLEASE NOTE: THESE PICTURES SHOW UP BEST ON AN LCD MONITOR.

Absentminded.

Sometimes I wonder where my head is. I am turning into a very absentminded person. Distracted is what I must be a great deal of the time.

I give my head a shake and say: Smarten up!

Sheesh.

Friday, November 05, 2004

A New Low.

Tonight I was positively reduced to tears by a fucking cat.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Bloody Hell.

It's no wonder I can't come up with anything to write about.

Another four (4!!!!) years of Bush?

I'm crushed.


Tuesday, November 02, 2004

What Was Lost Is Now Found.

Let it be known that Eric has found his pants. We are celebrating at my house tonight.

He came home today with a second rip (in a week!) in a second pair of pants (in a week!). I told him that I don't feel like sewing his freakin' pants tonight and perhaps he should get off his ass and find his missing pants.

I listed off a whole bunch of places to look, and lo and behold he found them wedged behind his dresser, one of the places that I had suggested. There they were all nicely folded with a not so thin layer of dust on them.

Yay for the pants!

For all your kind thoughts and well wishes during this time, I thank you, my faithful blog supporters. I couldn't have gotten through this without you.

I Wish I Could Vote...

Please don't let that war-monger get re-elected.

Please.

Merry What?

Christmas commercials?

It's only November 2nd. I've got the TV on in the background a lot. As I blog, as I cook, as I clean. If there's not music on then the TV is on. I just like my background noise. But tonight as I was doing some "stuff" and eating dinner I saw not just one but 2 Christmas commercials. Two!

Holy shit. Is it just me or does it start earlier and earlier every year?

Just earlier today I was telling a friend how much I loved the spirit and time of Christmas. It is one of my favourite things. But I wasn't expecting the commercials so soon.

Personally, I wish that I could push back Christmas a month or two. Make it in February. That way at least I have something to look forward to during the long dreary months of winter.

Anyway. According to Hershey Kisses it's holiday time. I'd better get started on my shopping!