Monday, January 03, 2005

In My Head.

I keep it to myself.

Why do I do that?

I downplay.

I laugh it off.

Nervous smile.

I shrug.

Change the subject.

Closed.

Is it because I don't want anyone to know my weaknesses?

Maybe.

I blow it off.

Make it seem small.

Am I afraid of failure?

Definately.

Pretend it doesn't matter.

I don't talk about it.

Or I speak in cliches.

Guarded.

How did I become that way?

Open but not open.

A glint in my eye.

Off limits.

And obviously so.

The Buzz:

At 10:49 PM, Blogger Jennefer declared...

Loved this Sha. It reminded me of a skit I've seen done, where two actors take turns conversing, but only saying one word each time.
Man, "Hello."
Woman, "Hi."
Man, "Weather."
Woman, "Lovely."
Man inquires, "Meeting?"
Woman sighs, "Late."
etc. Great stuff.
But this is more. I love your honesty. Bravo. :oD

 
At 12:04 AM, Blogger Kat declared...

Incredible post. It says it all so well.
-K.

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger rick declared...

sometimes you say so much without saying much at all... i've heard that somewhere before...

"Why do i do that?"
"How did I become that way?"
isn't it funny how one question leads to so many more... how do i change? do i want to change? will i ever stop pretending it doesn't matter?

wonderful post...

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger Amanda declared...

You're writing about me, aren't you?
I feel the same way!

 
At 1:20 PM, Blogger writersblock declared...

Great Post.

 
At 6:38 PM, Blogger JV declared...

That's beautiful, Butterfly. I wish you could say what you feel you can't.

 
At 11:28 PM, Blogger Happy and Blue declared...

That touched me.
I was divorced when my kids were small and was left with custody of the kids, a mound of bills and a demanding job.
I had to be strong all the time and it was so hard.
I could only get out for about 4 hours a week to be by myself. Used to tell my sitter I was going to the bar but really I would drive around until I could find somewhere secluded and spend the time crying.
Sounds pretty stupid but it's how I survived.

 
At 9:32 AM, Blogger Edge declared...

Here is where you can say things like this and be heard. And that's a very good thing.

 

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