Monday, February 21, 2005

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Marriage means many things to me. There's all that love and trust and honesty and partnership stuff.

That's all well and good and I was pretty bang on about all that stuff. But something that I had assumed would happen and didn't when I got married was transference of car responsibility.

I wrongly assumed/in vainly wanted/held my breath in hopes that my relatively new husband would take over the responsibility of car maintenance.

It never happened. Car washes, oil changes, filter changes, tire rotations etc. It's all mine. I even get to deal with the guys in the dealership that treat me like I'm lying when I tell them that intermittently, my car won't start.

I guess I was wrong.

The Buzz:

At 10:26 p.m., Blogger Magicfingers declared...

I'm really sorry to hear that. Is there compensation in some way? Is he a great cook, does he do the laundry? Does he? Or? Or?
I hope he is fabulous in so many other ways.
Believe me, I could (and should) write a book.

At 11:14 p.m., Blogger blue2go declared...

I don't mean to minimize the lack of car responsibility on his part but if he's OK otherwise you've got a good thing going!

At 11:38 p.m., Blogger John B. declared...

Maybe you can teach my wife that car maintenance thing...her idea of changing oil is once every 50000 miles.

At 1:04 a.m., Blogger Memphis Steve declared...

Oh, oh, oh, let me just tell you, my wife made the same assumption about car maintenance as you. And I don't disagree, feminists be damned. And if you'd like, put your husband on the blog for a moment and I'll talk to him. Because my wife, if I don't jump on her car problems right away, will call up her brother and complain to him. He's in the Navy and has developed something of a military attitude (asshole-can't-be-wrong.) He'll get me on the phone and just yell. He doesn't even know for sure that what my wife has told him is true, but he just assumes. Last time I heard every word she said to him. It wasn't correct at all, but she desperately wanted him to agree with her that something is wrong with her thermostat. So she led him down the path until he said "thermostat." I just let him go off. He wasn't smart enough to verify what she'd said and of course, me not being related by blood, have no input. So he yelled and her car continues to be fine, and she continues to think her thermostat is broken because her brother said so.

It isn't. But she's happy that he agreed with her and he's happy that he got to yell some more. And I'm happy that her car is running fine. But I'm unhappy that my own truck has developed an oil leak and I'm going to spend next weekend chasing that leak down, as I was unable to fix it this weekend even with the extra Monday off, which I spent half of under the sink working on a hole in the wall the plumber created and taking care of the yard.

The point is, rambling along as it seems to be, that your husband probably needs to start looking at your car and taking that on, especially if you cook and clean the bathrooms and all that fun stuff. But if he has never worked on cars and doesn't know much about them then you may be in for a disappointment, as not all men know that stuff and it can be hard to learn without a father or friends to teach you.

At 8:29 a.m., Blogger happyandblue2 declared...

I think that is hilarious.
All women should learn more about their cars. You'll thank him some day when you are not stranded on a dark road because you can fix it yourself..
And think of how happy you'll make him when it's -40C and your the one outside changing a flat tire.

At 9:16 a.m., Blogger Dale declared...

Is he still off the cigarettes? That's got to be worth something. Marriage is not always 50/50, Sha. Sometimes, it's more like 90/10. Eric loves you. You love him. That has to be enough.

PS. Thanks for visiting my blog. Did you know you're my favourite visitor? You and your dad.

At 10:08 a.m., Blogger Amanda declared...

My husband's father is a mechanic so I'm lucky my husband is naturally knowledgeable about car maintenance. I take care of basics - getting the oil changed, filters, add washer fluid, etc. and keeping it clean. If anything major goes wrong, my husband and his dad will fix it rather than us spend hundreds to get it fixed.

But had I not gotten married, I knew a few basics but not enough about a car to fix major repairs. In fact, cars are getting so complicated (a lot of computer operated parts) that even many men don't do their own repairs.

At 10:26 a.m., Blogger Butterfly declared...

I feel like I should qualify that post. I don't expect Eric to fix the car himself. But just taking it in for maintenance and repairs would be nice.

It's a sad fact that women are not taken seriously by mechanics and whatnot. Whether or not Eric knows cars he would be taken more seriously.

And I just want him to take care of it for me. (God, I sound whiny.)

At 10:43 a.m., Blogger Zulu declared...

Oh girl...I so know what you mean. Those unspoken expectations. Those things we are perfectly capable of doing and have proved we can do, we just don't wanna.

At 9:43 p.m., Blogger Jesse declared...

I sumbled across your blog from H&B and I found his by telepathy. I just wanted to say I love your butterflies. Maraposa means butterfly in spanish.

At 9:18 a.m., Blogger happyandblue2 declared...

Did you show this post to your husband? Has he smartened up yet??


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