Wednesday, May 11, 2005

School Daze.

Sitting at the uncomfortable desk. The one that wobbles because it’s become warped over the years. Books piled under my seat, pen in hand, clean lined paper in front of me. Window seats become premium real estate. Depending on the classroom I may have to crane my neck to get a good view of the outside. As the teachers drone on, pointing to overheads or chalkboards, I watch the progression of tree growth. Buds start unfurling green leaves. I count the days by leaf growth. Clocks tick slowly towards 3 o’clock. Calendar pages flip lazily at a snail’s pace.

School days.

School. Daze.

The saving grace of long May and June days back then was that there was an end in sight. I knew that if I stuck it out long enough I would make it to the long, lazy days of summer. The days of sleepovers and bike rides and beaches and parties and cruising.

At the end of June the summer holidays would stretch ahead of me with such promise. Two months seemed like forever. Some years I lived enough in one summer to carry me through till January.

Now, my desk doesn’t wobble and there’s no droning teacher but I still sit and stare longingly out the window and dream of the freedom of summer. The freedom that doesn’t come anymore. A stolen week here and there is no where near enough.

All I wanted to do back then was grow up and embark on real life.

Now, all I want to do is go back and feel that freedom again. Even if only for a little while. Why was I in such a rush?

The Buzz:

At 7:47 PM, Blogger The Delawarean declared...

Well put. And I think if you can answer that last question, you'll have discovered the meaning of life. What I wouldn't give to go back there...

 
At 7:50 PM, Blogger Dale declared...

I don't know why, Sha', but you made my cheeks wet with that one. Very nicely put.

 
At 8:55 PM, Blogger Wash Lady declared...

Because we thought that we knew everything back then. Now we know how much we don't know.
I hope things are lightening up for you :)

 
At 10:05 PM, Blogger John B. declared...

My ex-boss used to say 'don't wish your life away'...meaning don't spend time wishing to be older, younger, wiser, richer, etc.

A great paradox of life is that when young we want to be older, and when older we want to be younger.

 
At 11:17 PM, Blogger happyandblue2 declared...

I totally disagree with John B. on this. Wishing our lives away is a noble pastime.
I think it was Aristotle that said "the present and the future blow so wish for the past"

 
At 2:42 AM, Blogger Jennyta declared...

I was sent to your blog by Dale and I've enjoyed reading it. I've put you on my favourites list. If you want to read some of my experiences last year before I left teaching, have a look at the earliest posts on my Blogger blog. Hope you feel better soon.

 
At 5:09 AM, Blogger Walker declared...

I remember when I couldn't wait to grow up and be an adult, now I sit and remember a time when it was all fun and games.
I'm happy I grew up but I do miss the fun and games.

 
At 8:51 AM, Blogger SquirrleyMojo declared...

Did you see the cover of TIME this week??? :-)

I [Heart] Butterfly

 
At 7:34 AM, Blogger blue2go declared...

I loved school as a child, and never wanted it to end. I hated summers, working in the hot sun on our farm, not seeing any of my friends until the next fall. But I love to think about my college years! Now those were fun! Both times. This was a great post and brought me back to those fun times.

 
At 10:13 AM, Blogger Katya declared...

thats such a touching post...i wish I were younger again too, i'd do a lot of things differently...

:0)

 
At 11:07 AM, Blogger mrhaney declared...

when i was young i use to dream about how life was going to be when i was in or out of school. we use to have a bridge that was over the exspressway and i would watch all the cars go by and wonder where they all were going. i dreamed of all the places i would go when i finally got my licence and bought my own car. it is always greener on the other side of the fence.

 
At 2:03 AM, Blogger BridalBeer declared...

What a lovely post. Now I'm thinking how will I look at the desk I'm writing on now, 20 years hence? Will I regret all the wonderful things I could have done and felt when I was (relatively) younger?

 
At 2:57 AM, Blogger magicfingers declared...

So is the truth with every adult. I remember wanting to grow up so bad. To have my own house, own a car, do what I wanted(like that ever happened)
Now all I wish is to be a kid again. No worries, no house payment, no car to maintain.
Ironic isn't it?

 

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