Friday, May 06, 2005


I know. It’s only Friday. Why am I posting?

Because I miss you. All of you. And because I’m going away this weekend. I may not have a chance to blog but I hope I will.

I feel like I have to come clean. Sure, things have been busy lately but I can’t honestly say that’s the only reason my blog’s been virtually empty these days. The truth is that I have a lot of things on my mind these days. Heavy things.

Sometimes I feel so weighed down and I cannot put it into words here. At the same time, I’m so all consumed that I have nothing else to give.

Lately, when someone asks me how I’m doing or what is new or how my weekend was, I draw a complete blank. Every time I hear the casual questions I am taken by surprise. I feel that how I’m feeling or what is going on in my life is written all over my face or my posture or my voice or on a marquee that hangs over my head. The questions that take up space in my head are cumbersome and leave no room for the little, inane, easy queries.

I can’t remember what I did last night or last weekend unless I really give it some thought. It’s a really bizarre feeling for me. I’ve never been this distracted in my whole life. Even by writing this out here I know that I’m putting myself in a spot where I’m not completely comfortable.

Maybe I need to take back my blog. Maybe I’ve lost sight of the fact that this place is mine. All mine. Maybe I have feared what people will learn about me. Maybe I have feared that their knowledge of me is their power over me. But really I have the power because I can share as much or as little as I choose.

So that’s all. Wings has been on my mind these days and I’m sorry for my neglect. I can’t promise that I will be posting like crazy but I will be making more of an effort.

The Buzz:

At 9:47 a.m., Blogger Katya declared...

you take care of yourself first, we will all be here when you are ready...



At 9:53 a.m., Blogger swamp4me declared...

Sounds like it's time for a yoga break -- at least the breathing exercises. Don't laugh, they work!

At 10:38 a.m., Blogger The Delawarean declared...

I've often felt the urge to just take a break. Just a vacation from everything. If I didn't take time to go hiking or traveling I'd go insane.

It's your blog. Don't feel olbigated to post everyday just because you think you'll lose readership or eFriends. They'll hang by you.

At 1:09 p.m., Blogger Dale declared...

Katya said it best. We'll be here to read whatever you write, Shauna. Whenever you write it. No pressure. This is your blog, girl. Yours.

Have a peaceful weekend.

At 2:55 p.m., Blogger SquirrleyMojo declared...


I wondered about that when I saw you leave a comment on my blog, but you had never updated your own . . .

you sound like you are in a deep blue funk & it's hard to write w/so many personal issues weighing you down . . .

I wonder what might happened to the world if we were completely open and honest most of the time about everything?

Would war increase? or decrease? would we as individuals find peace?

I'm just trying to stay busy; if I stop, it's a total flat line.

Sorry to be writing just to take up space . . . :-)

At 2:56 p.m., Blogger SquirrleyMojo declared...

what do we want?

At 3:18 p.m., Blogger Lewis declared...

I've got one of those big fat funks going today, myself. I know how it feels.

Take some time. Do something fun that you've been meaning to do.

And know that I'll be saying a little prayer for you, too.

At 4:17 p.m., Blogger Iona declared...

Don't worry. You can write as much or as little as you want. You can divulge all of your thoughts and feelings or decide to keep them to yourself. You indeed have the power.

I happen to be a very open person who blogs practically about EVERYTHING. But I don't care, I do it for me. To get stuff off my mind. Any comments I get usually are very comforting, which is nice!

And that should be the reason why you're blogging. 'For you' instead of 'for your readers'. And don't worry about making promises to post like crazy or making more of an effort. It's our blog! I just feel honoured you allow me (and everyone else) to read about your life, no matter how much of little you write.

So, don't apologise. Just write as much or little as you want. Perhaps take a break from your Blog for a while to get your thoughts straight. It's okay. A blog is not an obligation, it's supposed to be FUN! F-U-N!

At 11:43 p.m., Blogger shadowbox declared...

"rest your head
you worry too much
it's gonna be alright
when times get rough
you can fall back on us
don't give up
please, don't give up..."


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