~Butterfly Wings~

Hope is a side road.

2005-12-17T12:29:00.000-05:00

Resilient creatures, we humans are. Just when you think you cannot possibly take anymore... Just when you think there's no way you can get up and face the day. ...Just when you feel like you've hit the bottom of despair and there's no turning back....

You find a way.

As the old saying goes "Hope Springs Eternal". And it's so true. Look down, look really deeply down to that place where you invite no one. You'll find it there. 'Cause you can't kill hope. Even when you're don't think it's there, it is. It sits quietly and infiltrates your most private thoughts before you realize that there is still hope within you.

If there's one thing I've learned in the past couple of years it's that we all have our own battles to fight and wars to wage. Sure, we have good times and bad times and better times but we all face something. Whether it's a marriage gone sour or a loved one facing cancer or lonliness or depression or infertility we all fight the good fight. Some days we shut down. We say to ourselves and each other, "this is it. I cannot do this anymore. I'm tired and beaten."

But sure as the sun will rise, so will hope. It'll be a whisper at first ~ but it's there.

I write this because I have gone through more self blame, self doubt, self hate, resignation and despair than I ever thought I could handle. There are days when I want to give up, when I cry myself to sleep, when I want to forget about the whole thing but somewhere in that deep well of my soul, hope springs.

The last couple of months I've given Hope a lot of thought. I've examined it and wondered at it. Two years ago, I didn't know the deep and unbreakable hope that lives within us. I didn't understand it. I would throw the word around easily and carelessly, not truly understanding. And I still don't completely understand how hope and the human spirit are so intertwined. In the past I hoped for things like a job offer, a winfall, a phone call, a good grade... And I still do hope for the littles things. But now I know the true power of hope. I understand that it really does spring eternal as well as I understand that I will have more days when I think that hope is gone.

Blessed

2005-12-05T09:46:00.000-05:00

The previous night’s snowfall made the trees look spectacular on Friday. If you bothered to look ~ which many people don’t ~ the bare branches topped with pure white snow made beautiful lacework scenery every way you turned.

I go out at lunch pretty much every day. I need that time to get away from this soul sucking office environment. My strained eyes and sore neck desperately need the break every day. On this particular day I decided to take my camera to a close-by nature trail. That’s one of the beautiful things about where I live and work. You can be on crowded, dirty, city streets one minute and surrounded on all sides by nature the next.

I picked my path and sauntered along taking pictures as I went. It was quiet. The snow and the foliage blocked out much of the traffic noises that weren’t too far away. Big flakes of snow were falling all around me. Rounding a curve in the path I found myself staring at a deer. She was beautiful and didn’t seem nearly as surprised to see me as I was to see her. She peered curiously over her shoulder at me as I hurriedly snapped pictures as fast as my camera would allow me.

What I didn’t know was that I needn’t have rushed. I crept closer to her and crouched down to get a good shot. She stared at me for a moment then began to pick her way through the branches towards me. Her close proximity made me feel utterly blessed.

There in that quiet, serene wood on an otherwise busy Friday afternoon, I communed with that deer for awhile. We stood in each other’s presence for many long minutes. For a moment ~ however brief it was ~ I felt like all was right with the world. Here was this beautiful creature, this gift, which was within a couple feet of me. I murmured soft words in the hushed atmosphere of the snowy woods and felt a real sense of peace steal over me.

It turned out that I had to leave before that deer got tired of me. I didn’t want to go. I felt exhilarated and touched at this experience and as I apologetically walked away the doe followed me for a few steps and watched as I headed back down the path towards my life.

Wings on my mind.

2005-09-28T20:22:00.000-04:00

Just thought I'd better clear something up.
I am not leaving.
Just taking some time.
And giving some thought to where I want this space to go.
There is a little misconception that I stopped posting because of a nasty commenter.
That experience has absolutely nothing to do with my reluctance about blogging.

Without putting too fine a point on things there are 2 general reasons that Wings kinda dried up.

1. There was/is some pretty major stuff going on in my life.

2. There's someone that reads Wings that I'm not comfortable sharing that with.

I just needed to get away for a while. But Wings has been on my mind a lot lately. Don't know what I'm gonna do or where I'm gonna go with this yet but I'm working on it.

Missing in Action.

2005-09-21T13:20:00.000-04:00

Where the hell have I been!!??
Good question.
I guess that I just felt like this place didn’t “fit” me anymore.
There have been things that I’ve been going through that are hard for me to talk about.
Plus, the time constraints of blogging were catching up with me.
I spent a lot (too much) time on it.
Call it a cop out if you must.
Call it whatever you want.
But it’s the truth.
I do miss it here.
I love my colours, I love my pictures.
I love the friends that I made.
I love what this place made me learn about myself.
I love how I discovered a whole new world that I never knew existed.
But as hard as I tried, I just seemed to lose my comfort level here.

I’m leaving this blog up so that I can pop in every once in a while.
Who knows, maybe this’ll be the catalyst.
Maybe I’ll start posting here more regularly again.
Maybe someday I’ll have something to share.
Maybe someday I’ll have a hell of a story for you.
Maybe that story needs to be told sooner rather than later.

We’ll see.

One Year Later

2005-07-07T08:12:00.000-04:00

Today marks my one year blogging anniversary. In some ways it seems like I’ve been blogging a lot longer than a year.

I have changed. My writing has changed. My life has changed. My friends and family got to know me a little better and my new friendships are so amazingly real.

I floundered a bit when I first started Wings. For who and why was I writing? What should I write about? In the beginning I wrote almost essay type posts. I went from posting a couple times a week to posting every day and back to posting a couple times a week.

My parents were my biggest supporters at first, encouraging me to keep on blogging. Slowly, I made friends and gained readers. Among the first were Freya, Shadowbox, Kat, Kristin, Zulu and Dale. Since then, too many to name individually have dropped in and out of my blog world. What great friends you all have become. I’ve developed friendships that I wouldn’t hesitate to change into 3D friendships. Some of you know more about me than anyone else.

In some respects this past year has been tough. But it’s been worthwhile and a growing experience for me. Time and priorities have changed for me and I don’t get around to your blogs or post as much as I used to. I guess blogging ebbs and flows like anything else in life.

I can’t wait to see where the tide takes me in the next year.

Thanks for a great year of blogging everybody!

Monday Morning Cheer

2005-07-04T07:48:00.000-04:00

I was whining to a friend about how I’m really crabby this morning and was having trouble remaining pleasant through the usual Monday morning banter and jokes.

For whatever insane reason I decided to figure out how many Monday mornings or work I may have left in my life. Scary? Yes. Depressing? Most definitely.

Assuming that I’ll be working until my early sixties and taking into account vacations and long weekends, CONSERVATIVELY, I have approximately 1400 more working Mondays to look forward to.

It’s a sobering thought.

Last time I checked....

2005-07-01T10:29:00.000-04:00

I received a comment today on a past post. I guess that I'm feeling a little feisty today because I don't feel like ignoring it like I normally would. Rest assured it's not a terribly offensive comment, it just rubbed me the wrong way.

At 2:27 AM, misterd declared...

Before the Internet, only your closest family had to be subjected to inane pap like this.

No longer.
Technology moves us ahead.

Well misterd.

I guess you're right. It's inane. It's boring. It's my life. Thing is? You didn't have to read it. You didn't need to leave a comment. You could have gone back to your exciting and righteous life and never thought of it again. But according to my stats you spent more than 8 grueling minutes at Wings. It must have been awfully painful for you to be stuck here for so long.

Last time I checked this was a place for me. It's too bad that people like you (and when I say that, I mean people that surf around blogland judging the value of others, leaving comments but neglecting to leave directions to their own perfect blogs) feel the need to take others"down a notch". It's sad really. Maybe even the tiniest bit pathetic.

What's the matter? Feeling a little inadequate? Maybe this is the only way you can find to have fun? Maybe the only thing you are able to write is snotty comments to others. Maybe it's the best way to make yourself feel better about the state of your own inane existence.

So, misterd, I apologize that you were subjected to my drivel. It's too bad that you felt compelled to not only read the whole thing, but comment also. Having a will of my own, I am usually able to surf right on by the blogs I'm not interested in without leaving my stamp of disapproval.

When I don't like or appreciate a blog, my visit registers on stats as a few seconds, or a minute at most. I land on it, glance at it and then decide if I want to stay. In 8 minutes I can read quite a few posts. I wonder how many of mine you read before you decided that you should let me know how inane it all is?

Canadian eh?

2005-06-30T21:32:00.000-04:00

Hey!
I got lots to say but no time to say it.
Why?
'Cause tomorrow is party day and we're expecting the better part of a hundred people.

YIKES!

So,

HAPPY
CANADA
DAY
EVERYBODY!

This and That.

2005-06-26T19:48:00.000-04:00

This weekend marks our first weekend without houseguests in five weeks. Now, don't get me wrong, I love having company (most of it anyway) but after a few weeks, the general neglect of all else begins to show. For instance, I've only had the time and energy to bang out one post a week here at Wings. But that's just the beginning. My garden was completely overrun with weeds, my lawn looked ragged and my house is in desperate need of cleaning.

Sadly, the house continues in its state of neglect but my garden is now weed-free. It took the better part of a day but the old folks pulled out of here by 9am Saturday morning and got us up before they left. (It proved to be a very busy and interesting vacation for them of which I will blog about soon.)

The heat of the weekend was not very hospitable to doing much outside but we suffered through gallantly and got the bulk of work done. It really was the most important thing to be done as we will be having hordes of people descend upon our tiny abode for the Canada Day Bash we're throwing. I say "we" but I use that term loosely.

Eric decided to volunteer us to have the neighbourhood Canada Day shindig. I had no problem with this, what I did have a problem with was the talk that escalated to selling tickets, roasting an entire pig, renting a porta-potty and so on.

That's where I washed my hands of it. After planning a wedding with Eric, I swore never to plan anything like that with him ever again because inevitably it is solely me that ends up taking on the responsibility. Anyway, it's all turned out well because our neighbours that decided to have a hand in the party planning have been prodding Eric on at all the right places, leaving me basically stress free.

Where were they when I was running around like a crazy woman trying to plan my wedding?

Anyway, I apologize to you, my neglected blog friends. I miss you all very much.

***************
Postcard update: All my postcards have been sent out so if you haven't received one yet, it may have gone astray in the mail.

Also, I have received a small stack in return already. I intend to post pics when I can.

Thanks everyone!

Happy Father's Day Daddy-o!

2005-06-19T10:49:00.000-04:00

Happy Father's Day to the best Dad ever!

You raise me up Dad. You really do.

Love you,
Sha

I am a Splendid Butterfly....

2005-06-15T19:52:00.000-04:00

On the weekend I went shopping with my Mom. After seeing these shoes in a shop window, I knew I had to have them. Lucky for me, she knew I had to have them too and she bought them for me as a "treat".

Yes!!!! That is a butterfly! Aren't they splendid?

You should see how smashing I look when I wear them.

One Year Ago Today.

2005-06-12T08:50:00.000-04:00

One year ago today the day dawned beautifully.
One year ago today I got my hair done and put on a white dress.
One year ago today my Daddy walked me down the aisle.
One year ago today was the most perfect day.
One year ago today the man of my dreams married me.

Happy Anniversary Baby.
I love you.

I always wanted to be Princess Leia....

2005-06-10T11:12:00.000-04:00

She was my hero when I was a kid. Strong, royal, sexy, romantic, beautiful and independent. Plus she got Han Solo in the end and who didn't have a crush on him?????

But alas, after going through a battery of rigourous tests the force has decided that I am Skywalker.

Boldly striving to overcome the darkness both in this world and within yourself, you are righteously devoted to forging your own destiny.

It's your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my powers.

Day After Day After Day After Day....

2005-06-09T17:02:00.000-04:00

Have I mentioned that I’m not a morning person? I’m sure that I have. I prefer to be left alone when I first come into the office. Just let me adjust to the day okay?

Every morning I have to go through the exact same chipper good morning routine with my co-worker.

She says: "Good morning Butterfly!"

I say: “Yeah…uh… good morning.”
I think: “What’s so fucking good about it?”

She says: “How are you?”

I say: “Fine….” Pause and realize she’s waiting for me to ask her: “How are you?”
I think: “I’m not really fine. I’m tired and I’d rather be at home than here with Mrs. Bright&Shiny…..and I don’t really care how you are either.”

She says: “Good thanks. Did you have a nice evening?”

I say (while rolling my eyes): “Um….yes…. thanks….. You?”
I think: “Leave me alone and let me quietly inject coffee into my veins!!!”

She says: “Good! We did ____ and _____ and _____.”

At this point if I’m lucky, make appropriate noises and nod my head she’ll leave me alone for a while. If I’m not lucky she’ll ask me how my husband’s doing and how about my sister. And say, are your parents keeping busy? Did they do this? Did they do that? Did you watch such and such TV show last night? What did you think?

Am I bitchy to want to dispense with the same freakin’ word routine that I’ve gone through every morning for the last 5 (five!) years?

I don’t want to be bitchy.

But I guess I am.

Bursting at the Seams.

2005-06-07T20:27:00.000-04:00

Whew.

What a week.

Not only am I sending out MILLIONS (okay, maybe not that many) of postcards but I also have had houseguests hanging from the rafters for the last week or so.

It's been a lot of fun. Having company may be tiring but it's rewarding too.

good food + lotsa booze + interesting conversation = fun times

That's the kind of math that I like. :)

Postcards from the Edge.

2005-05-31T08:12:00.000-04:00

Isn’t it remarkable when blog friendships become real? I got a post card yesterday from my soul sister. It was well timed indeed because yesterday was just an all-round crappy day.

A few handwritten words on the back of a postcard meant the world to me.

Thanks Missy.

Maybe we should start a postcard club. We bloggers could have postcards flying around the world. The post office wouldn’t know what hit it.

Could be fun….

Update: I've had a couple people mention that this whole postcard thing might be a good idea. So, with that in mind, why don't we give it a try?

Anybody want a postcard from me?

Email me (see the button to your right) with your snail mail address and I will send you your very own postcard. I only ask that you send me one in return.

What do ya think?

Are ya game?

Colours of the Garden.

2005-05-26T20:24:00.000-04:00

Getting tired of the neverending pics of my yard yet?

Oh well. Bear with me. There won't be too many more.

Remember the Lilac bushes I was telling you about? Here is a pic of one. Isn't it tiny and cute? And look at those flowers!

And these. Well, who wouldn't love these hardy little flowers that grew smack right in the middle of the well worn path between a bush and our side garden. They come up every year and this year I transplanted them to a safer area a little removed from the beaten path.

We've been trying to get a decent picture of the hummingbird but the little thing just won't pose for us. Imagine!

Day Nine.

2005-05-25T20:53:00.000-04:00

It is Day Nine of the plague. I have never, never been sick this long in my life.

Hack, hack, hack, hack.

Enough already!

Sister LadyBug and Alycia came to visit. I hacked well into the night but that didn't stop us from having a great time.

What else?

Oh yeah. I hung a hummingbird feeder that has already hosted it's first guests and I got almost all of my garden planted this past holiday weekend including 4 new Lilac bushes that I'm totally in love with. They're little and cute and I look proudly at them every day. I'm looking forward to the butterflies that are attracted to Lilacs.

Butterflies, hummingbirds and a summer-visiting sister.

What more does a girl need?

Cause My Daddy Said So.

2005-05-21T15:00:00.000-04:00

I've been passed a music stick from Anvilcloud.

Here goes:

1. Total volume of music files on my computer?

I have no idea. Eric and I share a network and he's got quite a few songs on it. I've got only a few on my own laptop.

2. The last CD I bought was?

Jack Johnson ~ In Between Dreams

3. Song playing right now.

Holla Back Girl ~ Gwen Stefani

4. Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order).

Only five??? Alright, I'll just pick 'em quickly.

The Smiths ~ How Soon is Now?
Spacehog ~ In the Meantime
Dido ~ Who Makes You Feel
Indigo Girls ~ Closer to Fine
Jack Johnson ~ Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

5. Which 5 people are you passing this baton to, and why.

I think that I'll let you off easily. I'm sure most of you have done this already anyway. If you want to pick up the stick and run with it, go for it.

The Grand Tour

2005-05-19T10:32:00.002-04:00

Well I feel like garbage today but since I had the time and it's a beautiful day outside I thought I would take some pictures of my yard for your perusal.

Alright. Maybe it's boring but I had fun doing it.

Eric and I just planted this tree last weekend. It is already about nine feet high and seems to be doing well. It looks like we may even get blossoms this year.

The sad truth behind this flower is as follows. Last year I left my Spring bulb planting woefully late. So there I was one cold Autumn evening, digging hurriedly in the dirt while mosquitos dive bombed me. While I got about six or so bloom in my other flower bed this is the one and only daffodil that grew in my front flower bed. It looks pathetically lonely but I love it all the same.

Remember the Root of All Evil that I heartlessly tore out a few weeks ago? Well I took this little Spirea bush from another place in the yard and planted it right where the Evil Root once stood. It's doing rather well if I do say so myself. Isn't it cute?

Another transplant. But this one is from my parents' garden back in Sarnia. Oddly enough these chives are flourishing like nothing else is. And look closely. See the little tiny Forget-Me-Nots? Those are from a few scattered seeds of the flowers that originated in my Grandpa's garden. He loved his flowers and I'm so glad that I have a piece of them in my own garden.

Hope you enjoyed the tour!

On My Wish List.

2005-05-18T17:47:00.000-04:00

Have you seen the Blogger Shirt?

I want one!

Don't Breath on Me!

2005-05-18T11:30:00.000-04:00

I'm sick today. Stayed home with a painful sore throat. Eric has had one of those hanger on colds for about a month now and was quite worried that I would be giving him this new and improved sickness too. So he came to bed last night with a SARS mask that he had kicking around. I got a pretty good laugh out of that until my laughing turned into rather painful hacking.

So. Should I go to the clinic? I'm one of those people that hates going to the doctor for something as silly as a cold or a cough but Strep Throat has been making the rounds.

I don't think that I'm any worse than I was yesterday but it's hard to tell.

Being sick sucks.

********
Update: I just got back from the clinic. It IS Strep Throat. Crap.

Monday.

2005-05-16T07:45:00.000-04:00

Seems like every time I turn around it’s Monday again. Typically, I’m pretty uninspired on Mondays and today is no exception. It takes all my energy just to get up and get myself out the door.

The only good Monday is a Monday off. And hey! We Canadians just happen to have one coming up. Thankfully, our first long weekend of the season is next weekend. I think that we all could use it.

What do Canadians usually do on our first long weekend of the season?

Well there are 2 trains of thought.

The first is that everyone should go camping this weekend. Even if it’s only in your backyard. There should be campfires and sleeping bags and lotsa beer. Hence, the nickname May Two-Four Weekend.

The other crowd calls it the Victoria Day Weekend. This crowd plants their flowers and does yard work. The only saving grace to this approach is that it, too, usually involves plenty of alcohol.

The kicker is that inevitably it rains every May long weekend.

What will I do? Not sure yet. We have been invited to a campout. But I sure would like to get my hands in the dirt and plant some flowers around my house. There is also a festival on with lots of great concerts to see.

Whatever I end up doing doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that this is my last working Monday for the next 14 days. Yay!!!

A Keeper.

2005-05-14T17:29:00.000-04:00

This is a quote from a greeting card that I received not too long ago. I love it.

"Friendship
is when people know
all about you
but like you anyway."

Fantastic, no?

School Daze.

2005-05-11T19:00:00.000-04:00

Sitting at the uncomfortable desk. The one that wobbles because it’s become warped over the years. Books piled under my seat, pen in hand, clean lined paper in front of me. Window seats become premium real estate. Depending on the classroom I may have to crane my neck to get a good view of the outside. As the teachers drone on, pointing to overheads or chalkboards, I watch the progression of tree growth. Buds start unfurling green leaves. I count the days by leaf growth. Clocks tick slowly towards 3 o’clock. Calendar pages flip lazily at a snail’s pace.

School days.

School. Daze.

The saving grace of long May and June days back then was that there was an end in sight. I knew that if I stuck it out long enough I would make it to the long, lazy days of summer. The days of sleepovers and bike rides and beaches and parties and cruising.

At the end of June the summer holidays would stretch ahead of me with such promise. Two months seemed like forever. Some years I lived enough in one summer to carry me through till January.

Now, my desk doesn’t wobble and there’s no droning teacher but I still sit and stare longingly out the window and dream of the freedom of summer. The freedom that doesn’t come anymore. A stolen week here and there is no where near enough.

All I wanted to do back then was grow up and embark on real life.

Now, all I want to do is go back and feel that freedom again. Even if only for a little while. Why was I in such a rush?

All I Need.

2005-05-06T17:58:00.000-04:00

Thanks y'all.

I've decided that all I need is a vacation, or at least a day off for just me.

Or maybe a massage.

Well....truthfully.....

2005-05-06T07:28:00.000-04:00

I know. It’s only Friday. Why am I posting?

Because I miss you. All of you. And because I’m going away this weekend. I may not have a chance to blog but I hope I will.

I feel like I have to come clean. Sure, things have been busy lately but I can’t honestly say that’s the only reason my blog’s been virtually empty these days. The truth is that I have a lot of things on my mind these days. Heavy things.

Sometimes I feel so weighed down and I cannot put it into words here. At the same time, I’m so all consumed that I have nothing else to give.

Lately, when someone asks me how I’m doing or what is new or how my weekend was, I draw a complete blank. Every time I hear the casual questions I am taken by surprise. I feel that how I’m feeling or what is going on in my life is written all over my face or my posture or my voice or on a marquee that hangs over my head. The questions that take up space in my head are cumbersome and leave no room for the little, inane, easy queries.

I can’t remember what I did last night or last weekend unless I really give it some thought. It’s a really bizarre feeling for me. I’ve never been this distracted in my whole life. Even by writing this out here I know that I’m putting myself in a spot where I’m not completely comfortable.

Maybe I need to take back my blog. Maybe I’ve lost sight of the fact that this place is mine. All mine. Maybe I have feared what people will learn about me. Maybe I have feared that their knowledge of me is their power over me. But really I have the power because I can share as much or as little as I choose.

So that’s all. Wings has been on my mind these days and I’m sorry for my neglect. I can’t promise that I will be posting like crazy but I will be making more of an effort.

Eeeeekkkkk!

2005-05-05T17:32:00.000-04:00

Could it be true?

Am I really turning into a weekend blogger???????

Sadly, it seems so.

See ya on the weekend.

Bless You.

2005-04-30T12:17:00.000-04:00

My boy is back.
Yaaaaayyyyy!

In the last minute and a half Eric has sneezed about 15 times.
achoo!
It's gets pretty amusing after a while.
achoo!
Bless you.
achoo!
Bless you.
achoo!
You okay?
achoo!
Bless you.
achoo!
Holy cow!
achoo!
Bless you.
achoo!
giggle giggle.
achoo!
Bless you.
achoo!
Ha ha ha. You're so funny!
achoo!
Bless you.
achoo!
Bless you.
achoo!
Bless.
achoo!
You.
achoo!
He just keeps on sneezing and sneezing and sneezing.
(And I keep laughing and laughing.)

I missed him this week.
Even though he steals my pillows.
Even though he coughs all over me in his sleep.
Even though he plays video games.
And watches wrestling.

He hugged me hard when he got home.
He kissed me lots.
He fixed my computer problems.
What a smart guy.
It's good to have him home.
Where he belongs.

So even though I say "Bless you" after he sneezes, it is really I who is truly blessed.

I Need Some Focus.

2005-04-26T20:42:00.000-04:00

My mind is all over the place this week. Eric is out of town until Friday or Saturday. We haven't filed our taxes yet. There's a book that I need to finish reading but I just can't make myself sit down and read it. I have nothing to pack for lunch tomorrow. My cat has decided to stick to me like glue. A very loud banging noise just sounded from the basement. Constantine from American Idol is singing right now and I want to boot him right off the stage. Stop staring at the camera you freak! (Who the hell likes that guy anyway?) I'm having trouble downloading a program (that I want to have, like, yesterday) on my computer. Error! Oops. Error! Oops. Error! Oops.

Fuck.

Yeah. That's right. I swear. Get over it.

See? I'm bitchy! And cranky. And frustrated.

Maybe I should just go to bed.

Oh wait! There is a positive side! I just forgot! Remember how I broke my glasses while doing yardwork? Well after a week and a half of wearing broken glasses, I picked up my new ones today. Thank goodness for that. Because, can you just imagine? I'd have even more to bitch about if I was still wearing duct tape on my glasses.

Quit laughing.

Oath.

2005-04-23T10:30:00.000-04:00

I, Butterfly, do solemnly swear that I will never wear socks and sandals together.

Never.

(That better Dale?)

Socks & Sandals.

2005-04-22T17:54:00.000-04:00

Ahhhhh. Friday evening.

Has is really been almost a week since I last posted? Sheesh. Time flies when you’re busy.

Although it’s beautiful outside today, apparently it’s going to rain, snow(!) and storm all weekend.

Yuck. So much for getting out in the yard again this weekend.

It’s funny. As Canadians, as soon as the temp goes over 10° Celsius, we put on our sandals and bring out the patio furniture. Perhaps we jump the gun in some instances but now that I’ve got my sandals out, I hardly feel as though it’s fair that I have to dig out my socks again.

I know that the snow will melt as soon as it hits the ground (if we even get it) and I know that the rain will make the grass greener and urge my daffodils to grow. So I guess that it’s all good in the end.

After all, it is only April.

It’s just that it was such a looooooonnnnnng and hard Winter. I need the coming of Spring like I never have before.

The Root of All Evil

2005-04-17T10:35:00.000-04:00

We got more than we bargained for yesterday. Eric and I headed outside in the afternoon to clean up around the yard a bit. We have a corner lot so we end up with a lot of ~~garbage~~ debris on the lawn. While Eric raked, I cast my eye at the Evil Wild Rose Bush that grows at the end of our flower bed.

For whatever reason the previous owners had a real taste for the monstrosities. We had 4 or 5 lining the deck, 4 of which we pulled out last year.

But they were the small ones. The one that was left was the mother of all Wild Rose Bushes. So I attacked it and hacked it and dug and pulled and laboured over it all afternoon but now? No more rose bush!

I was so proud of my efforts that I attached pictures of the beast so that you could ooohhhh and aaahhhhh over my success.

Above is the picture of most of the scrub that came out with the Wicked Bush. Below is a close up of the roots.

Hideous ain't it?

So that along with my first crocus (Thanks Dad, Dale and CPF) was definately reason to celebrate. And by the way I now have six crocuses (crocii?) blooming!

{The only low point to yesterday is that my glasses got knocked off the deck and stepped on a few times. They are broken, broken, broken.}

Today I am an old woman. My muscles are crying out in protest. My back is creaking and my legs hurt when I sit down or stand up or crouch down. {Pretty much covers everything eh?)

Oh! And I forgot to tell you the rest. Not only did I remove the Root of All Evil from our premises but I also transplanted a misplaced Spirea bush to where the Hideous Beast used to reside. It's a much better spot for it. Hopefully it takes the transplant well.

Today I think that we might take it easy.

Enjoy Sunday in your neck of the woods!

Reason Enough to Celebrate.

2005-04-16T12:24:00.000-04:00

So there I was huddled over on my lawn taking pictures of my first Spring flower this morning. Skirt riding up in an almost disastrous fashion. But I had to do it and I couldn't put it off for time to change into something more appropriate. I was so excited ~ it just needed to be done.

Isn't it pretty? Now if only I could remember what it was that I planted back in the Fall. I think that it may be a crocus but I have no idea. If anyone can enlighten me, it would be appreciated.

On the Edge.

2005-04-14T18:53:00.000-04:00

I have to apologize. To you. Yes you. I have been busy. Really freaking busy and the blog is taking the backseat. Even now, I have only about 5 spare minutes.

I do still read your blogs. I do. I'm just not so great at leaving comments these days. And many of you get more than 20 comments per post so I figure, "Well. What the hell will I have to say that the 20 or 30 people before me haven't already said?"

So I read, enjoy, and go visit the next person on my blogroll.

Anyway, in this spare block of 5 minutes I just thought I would shoot an apology out there to anyone that thinks I have fallen off the face of the earth. I haven't. I am barely holding on to the edges though....

Our Hero.

2005-04-12T17:07:00.000-04:00

25 years. Hard to believe. Canada’s Terry Fox started his run 25 years ago. I was 7 years old and I remember it plain as day. His story and his courage stirs me now just as it did then.

My big savings of $7 went towards his Cause. I remember watching the televised drive and trying to discern when my $7 was added to the rapidly rolling money count. I was excited to be supporting him. He inspired me and I even crushed on him a little, just like I crushed on Shaun Cassidy or some other TV star.

Today when my eyes roamed over the front pages of all the major newspapers, his face stared back at me. I felt many emotions, not the least of which was a fierce pride. The grit and determination ingrained in his features just as I always will remember it. I don’t need to see his picture ever again. His face, his hair, his printed t-shirt and that endearing running lope he adopted are all permanently tattooed on my mind.

I was 7 years old then. I could not fully understand Cancer. I can barely understand it now. But I know that many in my life have been touched by it. I know that it makes me angry and that it makes me scared.

And finally, I know that I am still just as inspired to donate money to the Marathon of Hope as the day that I donated my meager $7.

Party Weekend.

2005-04-10T20:05:00.000-04:00

What a great weekend! Don't have much time to write but for those that are interested here's a couple of pics from my weekend away with my two bestfriends and their boys. We had such fun.

Poltergeist Passenger.

2005-04-07T05:48:00.000-04:00

I've come to realize that I may in fact be carpooling with a ghost.

Everytime I get in the car it seems that my mirrors are slightly off. The seat too. I can't seem to get it exactly right. I never thought much of it. Perhaps I slouch more as the day goes on.

The other day though, I became sure that my car is haunted. I was driving along minding my own business. As usual I was singing along with the CD that I had playing. All of the sudden the music got a little softer. Thinking that was odd I looked at the digital display on my stereo.

Sure enough, right before my eyes the volume was being adjusted. It went from volume 16 to volume 5 in the space of about 30 seconds.

Weird huh?

Appropriately, I skipped to the next song and turned the volume back up. The ghost seemed okay with that decision. Now I'm wondering if it was my singing or the song itself that Ghosty found offensive.

I'll keep you posted on any more paranormal developments in the Elantra.

{And if you have a reasonable explanation for the
volume phenomenon, don't tell me kay? I kinda
like the idea of having company
on my commutes.}

Excited about what?

2005-04-05T17:52:00.000-04:00

Is everyone else fantastically busy right now?

I feel like I do not have enough hours in the day.

Sadly, this blog is suffering the effects of my busy schedule.

Spring seems to have finally sprung here. It teased us for a while. Back and forth. But every day it's a little warmer. (That's not saying much.) The snow is pretty much gone, except from the sheltered areas. I noticed that I actually have a few brave shoots poking their heads above the dirt and my cherry bush has got buds on it.

I'm pretty excited because the town I live in has started a program that if you go to a tree clinic to learn how to plant and care for trees, they will give you a tree for only $15. Isn't that fantastic? We've been wanting to plant trees on our lot. Our street is sadly very void of large trees being a relatively new subdivision, so it will be nice to plant some greenery.

And the price is very right!

With such an inexpensive addition perhaps we can afford to plant the lilac bushes that I would really like to plant. Or maybe get another tree to put elsewhere.

Either way I'm pretty excited about getting the tree.

Whole Lotta Nothing.

2005-04-02T20:53:00.000-05:00

You ever have so much to say that you actually have nothing to say.

That's me.

Right now, my mind is full, chaotic. Going in a million directions. I have a million things to do but here I sit, collecting my thoughts.

Ran around all day today. Errands here. Errands there. Waiting rooms here. Lunch there. Dropping in one minute. Flying out the next. And all of it? In the rain. I was just saying the other day how much I love rain. Except for when it rains all day and I have to be out in it.

I looked like a drowned rat.

I got only one thing done on my list of things to do. Blah.

Not pleased with my progress. I have much to do.

Much. To. Do.

I had big plans of getting started last night. Nope. No go. Friends are coming over. Okay. So Saturday then. Um okay. But nowhere near what I should have got done. Oh. But I did manage to spend a good deal of money of stuff other than what I was planning on spending money on.

Grrrr.

I gotta go.

Too much coffee.....

2005-04-01T10:20:00.000-05:00

....makes Sha a WIRED!! girl.

Pantyhose Suck.

2005-03-31T08:11:00.000-05:00

I do solemnly swear that I will never buy a skirt or dress that requires pantyhose ever again. From this point on the only such articles that I will buy will be for summer wear when I can go pantyhose free. It's all about pants from here on in.

I have struggled into hose for the last time. I have poked my finger through the flimsy material for the last time. I have frantically searched for a new pair for the last time. I have angrily searched for a new outfit to wear for the last time.

Pantyhose, you are dead to me.

Egg Psychos.

2005-03-29T21:16:00.000-05:00

Someone left us an Easter treat. Our weekend housesitter left a note telling us that the Easter Bunny had visited on Sunday and had left an egg on our front porch. Sure enough there was a big yellow plastic egg full of goodies.

I laughed and figured that she had left it for us but upon further investigation found out that it was not from her.

I was perplexed but not worried. And as I sat happily eating chocolates from the egg I thought to wonder briefly if perhaps some psycho had gone out delivering Easter Eggs this year.

The thought went quickly out of my mind and I enjoyed the treats thoroughly.

Just goes to show you that I live in a small, safe community when I feel safe eating chocolates left on my front porch.

Tonight we found out that it was from our neighbour up the street. See? No egg delivering psychos here.

Good Luck Galore.

2005-03-28T19:53:00.000-05:00

Well. Back at home, in my usual spot, after a whirlwhind weekend.

It was golden. It couldn't have been better.

I think so anyway. There are 'moments' that are a little blurry. :)

Iona will be pleased and entertained to know that I got shat upon by a seagull this weekend. This is the second time in my life that's happened. The first time was about 20 years ago. Anyway, I had to laugh. No harm was done. My hair was up in a pony tail so I dodged the "bullet" so to speak. My coat took most of the brunt.

And hey! It's supposed to be good luck so I'm expecting great things.

Other than that, there's too much to tell. We had a blast. We drank lots and ate well. There was laughter and good times.

I have a million things to do tonight before I jump back into real life but I did want to check in.

If you haven't popped in to my Dad's Blog, you should do so. He's morphed a pretty hilarious shot on today's post. Go have a look.

Green Girl.

2005-03-25T22:59:00.000-05:00

Having a quiet moment or two. Decided to log in and say hi. I've managed to skim the blogs a little but haven't had too much time to leave comments.

We're having a really good weekend so far. Our arrival was late on Wednesday night ~ around 1am. Then we were up quite late visiting with the old folks. Thursday was a nice quiet day. Stayed close to home.

But last night....oh lordy....Eric and I dropped over to visit a good friend of mine. I took a bottle of wine, thought I might have a glass or two. Fast forward 7 hours and my sober husband patiently herded his drunk wife out and into the car.

Then, said wife, woke up with one of the worst hangovers EVER.

So, no consumption of wine took place today. I had to toast my Mom, the birthday girl with a wineglass full of water.

Ah. Well.

It's all in good fun right?

It's all about the party when I come home for a visit.

Homeward Bound.

2005-03-22T20:54:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I'm heading for home. Yippee!

We're taking an extra long weekend and hitting the road for home.

I'm really looking forward to seeing family and friends.

I will try and post while there but it's doubtful I'll get much computer time in.

Have a great Easter weekend everyone!

Tired Eyes.

2005-03-21T09:48:00.000-05:00

I don't know if it's the changing of the seasons or just a cycle I'm in, but I have been so tired lately. No amount of sleep is enough.

This morning I stumbled out of bed after grabbing that all important extra 5 minutes of sleep. Somehow I got myself into the shower and through all my morning tasks.

I could have sworn that I put on brown socks to match my brown pants and brown shoes.

Nope.

Once I got to work, I realized that my socks were black as can be.

I think that my brain plays tricks on me. I specifically looked for brown socks. Thought for sure I picked brown socks and here I find myself with black ones.

Every evening I actually pick out the clothes that I will wear the next day. I pull them from the closet and hang them on the back of the door. This is because my brain is usually way too addled to pick out an outfit in the morning. I've always left the sock-choosing until morning though.

Guess I'll have to start doing that ahead of time now too.

Question: Am I the only one that is completely muddled in the morning?

Piece of Luck.

2005-03-20T20:21:00.000-05:00

We moved into this house in December of 2003. The whole time we've been here we've needed a decent dining room set. We bought an inexpensive (read: cheap) set when we first bought the house. We thought it would do but it didn't take us very long to figure out what a crappy, uncomfortable set it was. If you ever asked us what the worst purchase we ever made was, that would be our answer.

Since then we've been keeping an eye out for a decent, comfortable set that wouldn't put us in the poor house.

Then, last week Eric discovered a set for a really good price. We could buy as many or as few chairs as we wanted at $50 a piece. The table was a steal at $170. So, Friday night Eric and a friend went to pick the set up for us. He put it all together only to find that one of the six chairs was missing the seat. Saturday morning he headed back to get the missing cushion only to discover that the whole set had gone on sale Saturday morning along with matching cabinets shelves, coffee and end tables, etc. He came back home with the $100 that the store refunded to him and the cushion. We celebrated our good luck by buying a cabinet, a shelf, a coffee table and 2 end tables.

Yay!! It was a happy day as we unloaded furniture that we never really liked in the first place.

Now my living/dining room has a whole new look.

What good luck! We should have bought a lottery ticket too.

Buy Your Coffee.

2005-03-18T11:55:00.000-05:00

Friday's have been officially christened "Buy Your Coffee Day." at my house.

Not being made of money we had to cut down on the buying of coffee on a daily basis and start brewing our own. We make good coffee (in spite of what Shadow says) and I enjoy it every day.

But it's just not Timmy's. I love Timmy's. I work beside a Timmy's so it's pretty difficult not to make a coffee run all the time. (Especially when it's Rrrrroll up the Rrrrrrim to Win time!)

So not to be totally depriving ourselves completely, I made up "Buy Your Coffee Day." so that once a week at least we can treat ourselves to a Tim's.

It's just one more reason to love Fridays.

Today, Everyone is Irish.

2005-03-17T09:10:00.000-05:00

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY EVERYONE!!

I hope that there is lots of cheer and pub music and green beer among you. How many people will wake up with a hangover tomorrow?

What are your plans? Do you take the day off and go pubbing all afternoon and evening? I used to. Not anymore but I do miss those times on days like this. Back home everyone will be revving up for good ole St. Paddy's Day. Here, the party would be awfully small and the cab fare would be awfully expensive.

I used to party like there was no tomorrow on St. Paddy's Day. In fact, very often I did lose the next day completely to a hangover and regretted every sip of green beer.

Now I celebrate St. Paddy's Day in a pretty tame way. I wear something green. Woo hoo.

Have a great day everyone and be sure to share any stories of debauchery tomorrow.

Time Flies.

2005-03-15T19:40:00.000-05:00

I am stunned at how much time I don't have.

Shopping List.

2005-03-13T19:19:00.000-05:00

Eric just made a quick trip to the grocery store.

On his list?

1. Jug of spring water.
2. Loaf of bread.

As soon as he got in the door, I hear "Awwwww Shit!"

He forgot the bread.

Can you believe that?

Major City Tour.

2005-03-13T19:04:00.000-05:00

Well we just got back from Montreal. It was damn near another last minute trip but this one I knew about as early as Thursday evening. Sheesh.

After going to Toronto last weekend and then Montreal this weekend, I asked Eric for a little warning if we're going for the Big 3. Vancouver might take a little more planning!

We went to Montreal to visit hospitals. Yep. That's right. We visited 2 different hospitals yesterday. The first visit was to Eric's Dad, who was not feeling very well yesterday but today the Doctor's finally gave him the go ahead to eat. When we arrived today he was happily chowing down a hospital lunch. I swear, the only time you'd be happy about hospital food is when you've been deprived for days. I think that this is a great picture of Eric and his Dad, Gilles.

Our second trip was to visit Eric's new god-son. He's as cute as a button. It was a real treat to be able to visit the newly minted family in the hospital. Baby Etienne was born on Wednesday.

Isn't that a great picture? Eric's pleased as punch to be a godfather/honourary uncle.

I'm pleased too.

All Clear?

2005-03-11T23:52:00.000-05:00

So here's the story on why Blogger has been (and pardon my french) el-fucko for the last few days. Please note the "However, there is more work to do." line.

Beware. We may be in for more fun and games.

Friday, March 11, 2005

In the past several days, we've had a bout of stability problems with Blogger. Yesterday morning, users were encountering errors when trying to login and access their blogs.

During this time, mail-to-blogger was temporarily disabled in an attempt to resolve some of the difficulties - it is once again back on, altho' message processing may be delayed. Additionally, we are working on a patch to fix a bug that has prevented many users from leaving comments today.

Most of these problems were caused by an increased amount of load on the blogger.com application servers. We have addressed this problem by increasing the number of machines that serve the site. However, there is more work to do. In addition to bringing on more machines and completing additional capacity planning, we are also working to identify and correct problematic database queries. These queries are poorly optimized and lead to the increased load that jeopardized the service in the past few days.

As a Blogger user, I completely understand how unacceptable the performance has been in the past few days and it is the focus of the engineering team to fix these issues.

Posted by Jason at 3:43 PM

Oi!!!

2005-03-11T19:30:00.000-05:00

Just so you all know, I would love to leave you comments right now....

I would love to.

Mutiny.

2005-03-10T18:36:00.000-05:00

It's on days like this that I consider picking up and moving to another blog provider.

A friend has tried Blog Spirit out. It looks decent. No waiting for comments. That's a biggie.

Green.

2005-03-09T21:17:00.000-05:00

I keep reading blogs where people are raving about how Spring has sprung and all that.

It makes me more than a little jealous. This is been such a brutal winter. A hard winter. A long winter. I want nothing more than Spring to come. To see green grass and hear rain on my window and smell that fresh scent in the air.

Late in the Fall I halfheartedly threw a whole bunch of flower bulbs into my garden. I'm looking forward to seeing how (or if) they come up. I have a feeling it's going to be quite hodgepodgy. The day I did it was pretty miserable and I was just aiming to get them in as quickly as possible.

But the snow will have to melt and we'll need to see some much milder temps before I get to see any such thing.

Come back Blue-boy!

2005-03-08T20:32:00.000-05:00

Has Happy & Blue really signed off for good?

Did the long wait for the comments window really drive him over the edge?

I guess by now we've all left our pleading comments. I commented and emailed. Haven't heard back yet.

Does anyone or everyone agree with me when I say that Happy & Blue (I like to call him Blue.) left the best comments? I always enjoyed the tidbits that he left for me.

I really hope that he has not packed it in.

C'mon Blue-boy....give it another whirl.

We'll miss you too much.

In Other News...

2005-03-07T19:38:00.000-05:00

Today was not a good day. As I had Thursday and Friday off sick the work was piled up on my desk with no end in sight. I barely knew where to start. Add to that, that everyone has questions for me about their taxes.

{I am not a tax expert people! Leave me alone!}

Then for kicks, let's pile a whole load of late T5s on Butterfly's desk.

{Can you have these out last week please?}

Oh and don't forget that we're short staffed this week so I have to take on extra work.

La dee freakin' da.

I know that I'll be all caught up by the end of the week. I know this, but for today and tomorrow and the next day, it won't be pretty.

Anyway, on the positive side of things, I seem to have finally shaken the worst of this cold. Now I get to point and laugh at the people who have it. Also, on the positive side of things is that I watched Spanglish last night. It was wonderful. We all really enjoyed it.

Eric has been called back to Toronto. I was not happy about his travelling. We're getting buried under winter's (hopefully) last hurrah here. Apparently it's not snowing outside of the Capital region. Doesn't that just figure? But my point is that Eric is gone for the night. He didn't even come home to pack a bag. Poor guy.

I was driving home tonight, just dreading that I was going to have to shovel our big driveway. My neck is already screwed up and I knew that shovelling all this heavy snow could only spell disaster. Imagine my relief when I turned the corner to see that my neighbour was just finishing up the job of snowblowing my driveway. I don't even know his name but he's getting a thank you card tomorrow.

Thank goodness for nice neighbours.

Last Minute Road Trip.

2005-03-06T13:57:00.000-05:00

I am STILL not fully recovered from this cold. I felt better on Friday afternoon only to suffer a relapse at bedtime.

My nose is sore.

The funny thing is I think all these cold meds have raised my tolerance for alcohol. I drank a bottle of wine last night. I should have been falling over myself. Instead, I was only a little tipsy.

Go figure.

We went on a last minute road trip on Friday. Eric had a service call. I figured why not? I can blow my nose in a hotel room just as easily as at home..... "I'm in!"

So off we went. Got to Toronto at 11pm Friday night. Got back to Otown by dinner time on Saturday. We didn't even do anything in Toronto. Eric asked me if I wanted to at least go to Yorkdale. I declined. We've got malls here too. Why bother? So we went for lunch at Katz's and then headed for home.

It's a long way to go to sleep on a king size bed.

I Have an Active Dream Life.

2005-03-04T13:15:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a dream. I was going for a job interview or something and I was nervous. So nervous that my mouth was bone dry. Dry like the desert. There was a big metal tub filled with ice and bottles of water but I didn't want to ask anyone for a glass of water from the interviewer. My tongue felt thick and I couldn't talk properly. I was so uncomfortable as I awaited my turn.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, I asked for some. I was handed a bottle of water but couldn't get the cap off.

For the love of god, all I wanted was a sip. I felt like crying but couldn't spare the moisture. Someone noticed my discomfort and helped me with the bottle. Gratefully I gulped down some water but didn't help.

That was when I woke up. The desert was no dream. I was parched, mouth like sandpaper. Apparently I had gotten so congested through the night that I was breathing only through my mouth.

Greedily, I gulped down the glass of water that had been within reach the whole time.

The good news is that I'm feeling slightly better today. Thanks for all your kind thoughts and well wishes everyone!

Ugly.

2005-03-02T09:27:00.000-05:00

Today, my brain is functioning at a lower than normal capacity. (No smirking or jokes please!) This cold has gotten a hold of me so now I’m drugged out on Dayquil to get through the day.

Colds always kick the crap out of me. I don’t just get a little sniffly or a touch of a sore throat. I sneeze, I hack, and I can’t go anywhere without a box of Puffs. I get the ugly cold. Dry and red nose, puffy eyes, nasal voice.

In short? It ain’t pretty

Achoo!

2005-03-01T21:25:00.000-05:00

I'm getting a cold.

And I blame you.

I figure I've spent too much time curled up with blogs belonging to people with colds.

Alright. Alright.

I need someone to blame don't I?

And you guys are always here when I need you.

What would I do without you?

Be gone!

2005-02-28T21:43:00.000-05:00

Happy last day of February everybody!

Good riddance February, you wretched month. I don't want to see your sorry days again for at least a year! Git! Skidaddle!

March. Here in Otown, it's threatening to come in like a lion. Oh well. I'm all for ending on a lamb.

Yay for March! Easter and Spring all in one month. There will also be birthdays and new babies and trips home and visits with friends. Dinner parties to be had and plans to be made.

Hey March? I'm so glad to see you.

Beyonce Overload.

2005-02-27T23:31:00.000-05:00

Apparently Oscar is trying to break new records tonight. Beyonce performed not one but THREE of the nominated songs tonight.

I've got nothing against Beyonce but ... come on. Was no one else available?

The Bandwagon.

2005-02-27T12:18:00.000-05:00

The Delawarean and Mike say if you do this you're cool. (Maybe it's a Delaware thing.) And you know I'm always the first one to jump on the cool bandwagon. So here's litte thing that's making the rounds. Actually it's kinda neat to see what books people have lying around.

Instructions:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

So as I am sitting next to my bookshelf I closed my eyes and pointed...

S. Morgenstern's
The Princess Bride
by William Goldman

Immediately, Inigo shifted position, increased the speed of his sword.

"Now he surprises you with Bonetti's attack."

But Inigo was not surprised for long.

So now what do I do?

Beats me.

But here's a Quiz to go along with The Princess Bride theme.

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

It's like Sputnik.

2005-02-27T12:11:00.000-05:00

I have that line from So I Married an Axe Murdere r in my head. Anyone seen that movie? It has some of the best (and most enduring) lines in it.

"There's a Piper down! I repeat: We have a Piper down!"

Except in my head the line is actually saying:

"There's a Gmail down! I repeat: We have a Gmail down!"

(You have to say it with a Scottish accent.)

Okay I'm losing it.

Bed Hog.

2005-02-25T23:10:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow morning while I am still sleeping Eric will be getting up early and going to his mega LAN party. That's right. The "Big Boy Sleepover" is this weekend.

170 people ~ mostly ~~men~~ boys, will gather at the University campus. They will all be laden down with boxes containing monitors, keyboards, towers, CDs, DVDs, sugary snacks, gallons of caffeinated cola, sleeping bags and whatever other paraphernalia they may see fit to bring.

In Eric's case, he is bringing a cooler, a pillow, his own computer chair, headphones, microphone and a camera.

It's ridiculous .... but it's wonderful. My technogeeky but lovable husband has found other technogeeky but lovable friends and now they are all going to celebrate and play games for the weekend. I'm pleased for him.

And you know what that means.....

I get the bed to myself!!!!

Oh the luxury of it.

See Zach Write a Blog.

2005-02-23T22:53:00.000-05:00

I was blog surfing tonight and found a link to Zach Braff's blog. It's actually linked on the Garden State Official Website.

I had never heard of this before. Maybe I'm the only one but I found it interesting. He only writes every once in a while now. He's gets, on average, over 1000 comments per post. One had well over 3000 comments.

So imagine, you're surfing along and come across Zach Braff's blog. You seen that 1500 people have left a comment before you. Do you leave one anyway? That just strikes me as insane.

Huh.

Mars & Venus.

2005-02-23T08:51:00.000-05:00

Eric and I had an ~~argument~~ talk last night. Car maintenance didn’t even come up. Because really? It’s not the issue.

Eric and I lived together for more than a year before we were married. So you wouldn’t think that things would change that much when we tied the knot. But things did. Not big things. Just a whole bunch of little things. In fact, it seems to be all in the perception.

It’s hard to explain. But I think that now that I’m a "wife" I feel like there’s expectations and duties that have been thrust upon me. Even though I do the same things that I did before we were married, I feel like it’s gone from "doing my part" to "being my responsibility".

Eric and I have different timelines. Last night we talked about timing expectations. Example: when I ask for him to clean the dishes up. He cheerily agrees. But then the dishes continue to sit there. I usually get fed up and do it myself. He gets peeved with me for this, and last night he asked, "Why can’t you just wait 2 minutes? Why does it have to be done right away?"

I thought about that. The answer I came up with is that it's because I have already been waiting. If I have to ask him to do something it means that I’ve already waited the 2 minutes or 20 minutes or the whole day for him to notice that something needs to be done. I’ve already bided my time. When he asks why I can’t wait for 2 minutes it’s because I’ve already waited for 20.

We both became a little enlightened at that revelation. It’s all in the perception.

Another thing that I’m trying to wrap my head around is Asking.

I want him to see things that need to be done without my asking him or reminding him. To me, that just makes it my responsibility. No matter if he’s the one to do the task or not. If I have to identify that it needs doing and ask for it to be done, it’s my task to track. He wants me to point these things out. He needs me to point these things out. But our perception of asking and being asked is different. He’s usually more than happy to do what I ask but I hate having to ask.

So maybe now that we’ve figured some of this stuff out we’ll be able to understand where the other is coming from a little better. It's all in the perception.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

2005-02-21T21:29:00.000-05:00

Marriage means many things to me. There's all that love and trust and honesty and partnership stuff.

That's all well and good and I was pretty bang on about all that stuff. But something that I had assumed would happen and didn't when I got married was transference of car responsibility.

I wrongly assumed/in vainly wanted/held my breath in hopes that my relatively new husband would take over the responsibility of car maintenance.

It never happened. Car washes, oil changes, filter changes, tire rotations etc. It's all mine. I even get to deal with the guys in the dealership that treat me like I'm lying when I tell them that intermittently, my car won't start.

I guess I was wrong.

Apparently.....

2005-02-20T15:41:00.000-05:00

.....I have too much time on my hands.

Dad did the banner but I've done the rest myself. (maybe I shouldn't admit to that) "Butterfly Wings" is readable on Firefox but it has been suggested to me that it's not on IE. Hm.

Anyway, I'll keep working on the blog title but at least the rest all matches now. Too late to change my mind now. :)

Splendid.

2005-02-19T15:25:00.000-05:00

Isn't my new banner FAB-U-LOUS?

I wish I could take the credit but it's all thanks to my Dad. He made it and then gave me explicit instructions on how to put it up.

Apparently these are the things he does during sleepless nights.

I'd hate to wish sleeplessness on anyone but if they can do cool stuff for me...

Meerkats Unmasked.

2005-02-19T12:51:00.000-05:00

That was the title that caught my eye while channel surfing last night. It was on Animal Planet. They made it sound so mysterious and secretive. I read it like: MEERKATS!!! Unmasked... So serious and revealing. Being a fan of Timone....

I flipped it on. What a great laugh it turned out to be. They were the funniest little creatures and the whole hour was entertaining. Eric had fun laughing at me as I laughed at the Meerkats.

So I learned all about Meerkats from this Alec Baldwin (apparently he likes Meerkats too!) narrated documentary. While I watched, I munched on Cadbury's Mini Eggs.

I love those things. Eric went out and bought me a big bag of 'em. Ain't he grand?

So that was my Friday night. I wonder if anyone could possibly top that.

The Line Up.

2005-02-17T19:09:00.000-05:00

Thursday evening. It's our big TV night. And our big TV night just got bigger. Survivor is back! The 10th series! Wow. I haven't missed one series yet. I guess that they're changing it up this year.

I don't know how I feel about that. On one hand I say: "Why mess with a good thing? It works. So leave it alone." On the other hand: "Change is good. Keeping it fresh is a good thing."

So we'll see.

Our neighbour (Carly) comes over every Thursday. Sometimes her boyfriend comes too. It's a tradition now. We eat snacks and enjoy the fire. We chat during commercials and generally have a really nice evening.

My question is, why do they have to put all the good TV shows on in one night?

Here's what we watch:

730pm Joey
800pm Survivor
900pm The Apprentice
1000pm ER

We have to tape The OC (at 8pm) for Carly and then we also tape CSI (at 9pm). She takes the tape home, watches the shows and then brings it back so that we can watch CSI.

If they could spread these shows around to different nights, life would be a lot easier.

Such is the life and trials of Sha.

True Blue.

2005-02-15T20:27:00.000-05:00

A long lost friend called me out of the blue the other day. It was really nice to hear from her. I hate to admit this but I am terrible at keeping in touch. I'm tempted to give this blog addy out even more than I already have so that people have a fighting chance at staying in touch with me.

Am I lazy? I don't know. Maybe that's part of it. Some friends I am just willing to let go. Others, I know that no matter how often or how rarely we chat, we'll always be friends.

I have lost contact with more than a few friends since I moved to Otown. A few valiently tried to call me and keep up the ties. I was content to let it fade. Maybe leaving those people behind were part of leaving my old life behind. Maybe.

It's not really fair of me. Perhaps some of my friends were left wondering what in the hell happened. I am sorry for that but I am thankful for the true blue friends that I keep. For they are worth stadiums full of friends.

Me and my best girls.

A Butterfly for a Butterfly

2005-02-14T21:54:00.000-05:00

Eric worked late tonight but look what he brought home for me along with a handful of flowers. In case you can't tell it's a big butterfly balloon.

Isn't it neat?

I feel lucky. Very lucky to have married such a wonderful man.

Borrowed....

2005-02-14T12:34:00.000-05:00

....from Mel. She writes a good blog.

Not too long ago she posted this as a Public Service Announcement for people suffering from PMS. Or alternatively for people who are suffering from living with someone with PMS.

Happy ♥ Day.

2005-02-14T10:46:00.000-05:00

Well I guess since I already got my V-Day rant out of the way, the least I can do is wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day.

Today, chocolate is calorie free.

Did you know that?

Red & Sparkly

2005-02-13T20:12:00.000-05:00

I have pretty toes. My feet are soft and my toes are painted red and sparkly. So yes the pedicure party was an evening well spent.

The company is a little "spa in motion". They come to your house and bring all their stuff. So it's almost like getting a spa job except that you can make snacks and have drinks and be rowdy or whatever. It's kind of a neat idea.

I've decided that I should get a pedicure once a month. At least in the winter. It's a great pickmeup.

Eric and I had planned on maybe getting to a movie or something this weekend but the timing didn't work out. We did manage to spend Saturday evening with friends. A good time was had. Eric suggested going to a movie tomorrow night instead but it's Valentine's Day. Won't everyone be out on dates? I think that I'll pass on that. Maybe later on this week. I have no idea what's even out at the theatres.

So in genuine Happy & Blue style here is a question:

Does anyone have any good movie recommentations? Seen anything particularly good or particularly bad recently?

Friday Fun Day.

2005-02-11T13:23:00.000-05:00

Not getting much work done today. I'm sitting at my desk but not really working. It's like taking a day off without really taking a day off.

So I'm reading everyone's blogs. And if you haven't posted recently then I'm reading your comments. It's a great way to spend the day!

I'm looking forward to tonight. I'm going to a pedicure party! That's right. Wine, food and professional pedicures.

How cool it that?

V-Day Rant.

2005-02-10T19:16:00.000-05:00

Blue2go asked me why I don't like Valentine's Day.

Good question.

Is it because it's too commercial? Well here's the thing. It's not too commercial. It's only commercial. Card companies and confectioners and florists tell us that we need to buy their wares to tell our spouses, partners or whathaveyou that we love them.

I disliked Valentine's Day as a Singleton and I dislike it as a Married Person. I don't abhor it. I just don't like the concept. Flowers would mean so much more to me if I received them on no special day. Chocolates would taste richer if they were brought home as a surprise. Jewellery would sparkle twice as much if was given to me for no particular reason.

I dislike the restaurants on Valentine's Day. Hordes of people going out and lining up to eat out. How is that fun or meaningful?

I dislike the decorations for Valentine's Day. Pink streamers and red balloons and white doilies. Yuck. Can you say tacky?

So there you have it. Here ends my V-Day rant. But rest assured I bought my boy a card and a gift. And I will likely wear something red to work that day. I'm not Valentine's Day Grinch or anything. It just rubs me the wrong way.

8 things about my day...

2005-02-09T19:21:00.000-05:00

1. I got all my tax letters done! Yippee! Now I just have to catch up on all my other work.

2. I managed to find time to buy my love a Valentine's Day present even though I really can't stand the whole concept of V-Day.

3. One of our independent residents at my work wandered outside in the middle of the night in his underwear. He fell on the ice and while bleeding quite profusely crawled back inside. Needless to say I'm sure that he will be switched from Independent Living to Residential.

4. I was so tired today that I was tempted to crawl under my desk and have a nap.

5. Eric promised to cook and then promptly went over to visit the neighbour. Guess I won't hold my breath.

6. I got my shoes shined and polished at a charity shoe shine event thingy. They look great.

7. I had the chance to apply for a job at a hospital here. I decided against it because the timing is just not right.

8. I downloaded 2 Gwen Stefani songs. (Rich Girl & What You Waiting For) Yes I finally put iTunes on my computer. Now if only I could make up my mind about that iPod.

Tricksies

2005-02-08T10:36:00.000-05:00

We're getting lulled into a sense of security here in Otown. It feels like spring is coming. It's mild for this time of year. The Canal is closed for skating. People are leaving their coats unbuttoned. Bits of brown grass are poking through the snow all over the place.

The calm before the storm. I just know it.

But we can't help but hope can we? We can't help but say to ourselves, "well maybe this year spring will come early and just stay..." As much as I scoff at the thought I still secretly hope it to be true.

I need Spring. I need the crocuses and daffodils and tulips. I need to see cyclists and walkers and greet my neighbors after a winter season. I need a spring rain. I need to smell that fresh, spring smell in the air. I need green. The dirty grey is oppressive.

Only 5 more Mondays until Spring is officially here.

The countdown starts here.

Crazies

2005-02-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

Okay you bunch of crazies. It was simply a test. It was only a test. Just thought it would be fun to try it out. Just in case I want to call in something that's just too important or too funny to wait for me to get home to type. Or just in case I want to sing.....no, not really.

But I promise this will not replace my wonderful and witty prose. Ha. Ha. Ha.

So everybody relax. Breathe a collective sigh of relief. I am not changing format. But considering the response I got, I may throw in an audiopost every once in a while. I may even take requests. Or as Blue suggested I may contract out my voice to read posts for others.

Make me an offer! :)

Learning new things....

2005-02-05T20:52:00.000-05:00

Blue is back...

2005-02-05T20:26:00.000-05:00

Welcome back Happy & Blue.

(Please note: his new link is on my favourites list.)

Annoying Humans!

2005-02-05T13:36:00.000-05:00

Can you hear him?

This is what I imagine Rocky the Wonder Cat to be saying.....

"Can't you people just leave me alone?
I was up quite late watching your bedroom
door. And then? I got up so early that the
birds weren't even up. All just to meow at
your door. The things I do for you people!

Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.

You try doing that for an hour and see
how exhausted you are! All I wanted was
a little food. Is that too much to ask? But
noooooo I have to pace and cajole and
howl at you until you get up! The nerve!

So...can't you just let me sleep in peace?"

Red, Yellow & Orange

2005-02-04T19:12:00.000-05:00

Friday. Ah Friday. There never was a more welcome Friday.

I got tonnes of work done today. Managed to get further ahead than I thought I would. So that means I may not have to go in on Sunday ~ which I thought I would have to. Whew. Hate working extra if I don't have to.

A most welcome surprise. My boss came in just after 3pm.

"I think...." he said, trailing off, "that you guys should leave early today."

Well for god's sakes! I've worked there since 2000 and I can count the amount of times he's told me to go home early. On one hand no less! The three of us stood there dumbly. Frozen in whatever tasks we were involved in, mouths hanging slightly open.

"Seriously," he continued, "It's really nice outside and it's Friday."

Say no more. I'm freakin' outta here! I still have a tonne of work to do but I shall not waste this fleeting spirit of charity. I shall not!

Grabbed my coat, put on my boots and damn near flew out the door.

"Have a great weekend......" I managed to call over my shoulder as I disappeared down the hall.

And then I bought myself flowers on the way home. 3 bunches of Gerbera daisies. One bunch red, one bunch yellow, one bunch orange.

Expensive but worth it. Just like me.

Happy & Gone?

2005-02-04T18:19:00.000-05:00

Anyone know what happened to Happy & Blue?

Short and Sweet.

2005-02-03T19:21:00.000-05:00

Comments left on yesterday's post were hilarious! Thank you
everyone. And if you haven't had a chance to read them go take a look....

Oh all except for one. I believe that I got comment-spammed.
Comment spammed! That's a first for me.

Oh and is there anyone in the world that doesn't have a gmail account? Apparently I've hit the jackpot. I have at least 50 invites to give out. So please, if you or your mother or your uncle or even your ..... cat want one, let me know in comments.

It's Thursday evening. My TV night.
That's why this post is....short and sweet.

For Sale - Cheap: One Cat.

2005-02-02T09:45:00.000-05:00

My cat has lost his mind.

Lost it.

I think that Rocky's gotten to that point in his life, where most animals come to. All he thinks about is food. And as soon as he's done eating he starts thinking about his next meal or snack. He's getting so fat. But if we don't feed him he goes crazy.

We have to sleep with our bedroom door shut. If we don't lock him out he spends the whole night chewing on my hair and trying to fit his head into the glass of water that I often have on my bedside table. So often did I end up with water spilled everywhere and my head buried under the covers that I figured it was time to lock him out.

Now he stakes out the bedroom door. And if he hears the sounds of stirring within he starts to meow. Deep, heartbreaking meows that leave you sure that he's dying out there. Somedays he waits for our alarm clock to sound but other days a cough is enough to start him up. (This morning I could hear him before 5am.)

Usually Eric feeds him since he gets up before me. But every once in a while I'm up first and I feed him. On those mornings he harrasses Eric like crazy. Even though his food dish is there for all to see, Rocky tries to trick Eric into feeding him.

He's a crazy cat. When I get home from work I can hear him meowing before I even put my key in the lock. Then, for the next 2 or 3 hours he follows me around, dogging my steps. So then I bend down to pet him, which he seems to enjoy for a couple of minutes. Then he starts biting me. If he's feeling really frisky he's been known to chase me around trying bite my ankles.

Oh and let's not forget that if he has a hairball he's sure to huck it up on the carpet. Can't ever make it to the linoleum. That's particularly a favourite trick of mine.

Other than that he's really well behaved.

Anyone want a cat?

Back to Basics.

2005-01-31T22:05:00.001-05:00

Been chatting with a new friend lately. It's fun getting to know someone new. As it turns out he's quite talented.....

I love this picture. Thanks R, for sharing it with me. It's beautiful.

R also shared a list with me. The Rules According to R so to speak.

Don't give your trust to anyone who will use it to hurt you.
Treat people EXACTLY like you wish they'd treat you.
Always be honest, it's difficult to keep track of lies.
Be kind. It only takes a second to do something nice, but the effects last lifetimes.
Be who you are. Being what someone else expects you to be means they won't like you for who you ARE.

Simple and true. An expanded Golden Rule. Live by those, and you'll do all right. Truer words were never spoken.

Thanks.

Productive.

2005-01-29T18:12:00.000-05:00

I've been more productive today than I have been in a long time. I cleaned my house and did a hundred loads of laundry. Actually, I'm in the process of doing a hundred loads. It's very time consuming to wash a mountain of clothes, towel and sheets, load by load. Too bad I can't just shut the laundry room door and run the whole room on a heavy duty cycle. That would be pretty cool.

So then I thought why not try my hand at making Sweet Potato Soup. Dad always makes it and I love it. I rolled up my sleeves and went to work.

What's supposed to look like this:

actually turned out looking more like runny mashed sweet potatoes.

So while I had planned to blog about my successful soup making endeavor, I actually find myself posting about how I am not a good cook. (sigh) Well it tasted okay, in spite of not adding one of the spices it called for. (Because of course I didn't have any cumin.)

Perhaps I should stick to ready-made frozen stuff. That always comes out well. And if I put it into my own casserole dish, I can tell every one that I made it from scratch.

Now there's an idea.

If you ever come to dinner at my house forget I told you that kay?

One of those weeks...

2005-01-28T18:39:00.000-05:00

Whew! It's Friday. And it's been quite a week.

1. I'm having real trouble concentrating on work these days and not compulsively reading everyone's blogs all day.

2. It was jean day today. I heart jean day.

3. The big story in O-town today is about a man who is having a living wake tonight. He's 78 years old and suffering from a terrible lung disease that makes breathing very difficult. He's invited 5o of his friends and family out for filet mignon and a celebration of his life and then he's going to go home and commit suicide. It has sparked water cooler conversations and debates all over the city. Maybe the province.

Suicide is not illegal. If the "authorities" get wind of your plans they're required to insist that you get a psychological evaluation. The police have done that. This guy has a lawyer to make sure no one aside from him is held accountable. He's gone for the evaluations. And now he's set the plan in motion.

Any thoughts on this?

4. Did I mention that Eric was in a car accident yesterday? Didn't think so. Needless to say I was rather shaken up. He lost control of his truck on the highway. He is fine. His truck is fine. Unfortunately there was a head on collision that happened right in front of him. There is a serious injury and we're keeping our fingers crossed that the lady is okay. It's a long detailed story but the point is that he's okay.

5. Eric has been working too much overtime and it's grating on my nerves.

So that's it for the short update.

Burst.

2005-01-26T21:23:00.000-05:00

My sweet love has now gone 2/two/deux months smoke free!

And you know what? He makes it look easy. Really. You would never know that he struggles with it. From all appearances it doesn't even bother him.

But it is still a struggle for him. I know it is. And I am so fiercely proud of him that I could absolutely burst.

Well done baby! Now you get to select a prize...

I Can See the Light.

2005-01-25T19:06:00.000-05:00

Spring is coming. I'm telling ya. I measure the changing season by the light of day.

I leave work around 430pm. In the dead of winter it's dark by the time I get home around 5pm.

But now? It's getting lighter. I can still see by the time I get home. If I can see the water tower of CP as I'm driving down the highway, I know that the darkest days are over.

Okay. Okay. I know it's still January. But let me be positive for just a little bit. It happens so rarely in this godawful month.

A Heartfelt Goodnight.

2005-01-25T10:54:00.000-05:00

We stayed up and watched The Tonight Show last night. We thought it would be worth a late night to see how they saluted Johnny Carson. They did an okay job considering it was all thrown together in a matter of hours. But as much as I enjoyed watching the old clips and whatnot I couldn't help but feel a little sad about the tribute. It always seems such a shame to have these things only after people die.

I guess it's when we lose people that we'll realize how much we'll miss them. Until then we can't imagine a world without them. So we don't.

WARNING.

2005-01-23T20:28:00.000-05:00

Take note:

This is what can happen to your hair (and maybe even your head!) if you wear your headphones too often.

My boy has got to stop gaming! And yes that is how his hair dried and no it's not enhanced.

He's gonna be real mad at me for posting this but I'm still laughing so hard that I can barely type. I keep breaking out into hysterical laughter every time I look at it.

Too funny!!!!!

Date Night.

2005-01-22T23:26:00.000-05:00

Well we had great intentions. In fact we even actually made it out for dinner.

And it was a good dinner. We so rarely get out anymore.

But the weather is really sucky here in sunny O-town. Lots of snow and shitty driving conditions. We considered catching a movie but once I considered coming out of the theatre in the late, dark, snowy night I thought better of it.

Just take me home. To my cozy rec room and fireplace. Let's cuddle up and watch a movie. It's more comfortable than a theatre anyway.